Monday 30 September 2013

autumn in my heart

***

mengapa susah untuk madah itu terungkap
kenapa kelu lidah, lelah ingin melontar kata,
kenapa diam membisu saat rasa itu berkobar,
nyala membara dalam sudut hati,
hampir saja membakar diri.

sometimes words kept silent. as feelings grows stronger, all you can do is pray. 


You know you love someone , when you pray for them more than you pray for yourself

i'm missing those who made me feel like a daughter, sister and a friend. i miss them badly.

 those...
who nags at me when i did something wrong, who quarrel over small things like changing the tv channels, who cook for me when i was home, who keep asking me if i have enough money, who sometimes tidied up my room when i'm busy, who shares joke only us can understand, who annoyingly ask help for their school homework for the next day, who asks me to drove them somewhere, who asks me to cook for them, who wouldn't allow me to study too late at night just so i could accompany them to sleep, who excitedly shares stories that happen when i'm not around..

i miss... every single things.

and i couldn't tell them that. well, yes i can. but not in a proper way or as serious as it could probably sounds

 'listen here, i love you, and i really mean it.'

i miss you and it's not an idle words.

i wish i'm expressive enough. most of the times, i would just do what i do best at its best. just so i can translate that love in much materialistic way. of how much effort i put in, of how much tears that falls along the way, of how much prayers that goes to you and to myself, so that i'll be a good daughter/siblings to you.

okays. i'm officially homesick. 

semoga Allah jaga kita. ikat hati kita. 

though we are far away from one another, i kept my family a special place in my heart. to keep me strong wherever i am. just so, i can carry on and am still smiling. coz i love you soo much. 

i don't fall in love too easily. but once i love you, that's all there is.
that's all that matters.



                                                           yep. all nine of us. miss the eight of you :(








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