daily rant.

Hello people.

Assalamualaikum.

 

i just find how difficult it is to actually keep up with blogging and keeps things updated.  There's so many things to do that-being an expresser (on words most often), i just have to let it out. hence, all those fb status-es or the istagram-ings. I'm learning quite a few things these days but agreeably not conquering any-fully yet though. For those who might have known me for years, i'm clumsy and disorganised. i'm spontaneous and i dont plan things. even if i do, it's quite unlikely for me to stick to it. i'd certainly drive you people crazy if you are just so freakin organised and systematic.  i find excitation and adventure behind randomness and unplanned things while you'll probably find no sensibility in doing so. but i can be putting lots of effort too to the things that i really love.

 

I generally am soft-spoken (and i don't mean being feminine). I can't bring myself to scolding people or staying mad at one person for too long (not that they usually realised). I get so mad at people that i'd eventually cry. You know, when i was in the student council in ky, we have the student orientation week where we're supposed to look stern and unapproachable/scary/intimidating. i was really struggling to even restrain myself from smiling, let alone make a harsh order when they asked for signatures.

 

I ate a lot.

I'm the kinda people who'd woke up early just to have breakfast. it's an inspiration to kick start the day. Good, proper breakfast.

 

 I don't like exercising, but i'd certainly enjoy walking. I went to the park wearing a skirt,  have a book in my hand ( not read, most often) while listening to some easy listening songs ( usually instrumental).

 

i deny having a thing for pink and all. but my most of my possesions are. I love flowers so much, i'd go the market/ Hutchinson once in a while and secretly hoping for fresh cheap flowers. i have this so called baking addiction now that i just have to bake at least once a month. Voluntered to teach a few children because it can put my mind at rest with the wonders that you'll find while interacting with these innocent souls.

 

I never rushed except when i had too. i'll go to school just a little bit earlier so that i can walk slowly and enjoy the sunrise while i walked pass the field.

 

of all the things that i once have been, and always be up till now-with some things changed here and there ; it always bring my mind to certain people (well you know who you are) and crave for their presence by my side now.

 

 so next time i do things i do, they'll understand like no others.

 so next time i screw up and makes mistake, they'll say it's okay and motivates me instead of condemning.

so next time i find joy in what i do-most random and crazy things, they are the first to actually join me and have a good time and brave enough to put aside the fear in uncertainties.

so next time i do anything, they know i'm just being me.

 

 ***
 

For once, after i experience this one thing before, i just have different outlook to almost everything. Maybe, just maybe.. my priorities have changed. it's no longer to become the best throughout the year, but to actually make the best of every single day. becoming more appreciative of my nature and recognising them for room of improvement, accomplishment as what the society may define and how i used to as well before, may no longer be rooted in my mind any longer. it's still important but there are so many things i failed to notice before- too busy focusing on that one thing.

 

Sometimes, i'm afraid if i'm actually losing myself and just start giving excuses to working less hard( in academic for example), by paying more attention to things that actually makes me feels happy. trying to remind myself that education itself is basically life experience, and sitting in classroom is only small part of it.

 

and so this daily rant of mine, i'll get back and throw some more on you guys when we meet insyaAllah!

 

True love is an acceptance of all that is,has been, will be and will not be.

 

xxx

 

 

 

family rindu. kawan pun rindu.

 

8.30 pm, Robinson Library

bertemankan nota Microbiology dan secawan Cappucino.