dilema tudung.

tudung

aka 

scarf /

head cover.

i have a conflict in me. earlier i always wore the usual bidang 45 tudung bawal. then, i move on to bidang 50-55  with different material, less translucent.and for the first time, i wore this kind of anak tudung-the one you wore inside ur tudung.the thing is, i've always look at those muslimat with tudng labuh and how i had such throbbing feeling of unease  and jealousy- in a good way, of course...how i wish i'm able to do that too. one day.one day.InsyaAllah!

at home, i tried wearing bdg 6o. but i'm not istiqamah. i feel so bad though it's not really an obligation. because as a muslim, the main thing about covering aurah , particularly on hijab, is..to lower ur garment till it cover your chest 

surah An Nuur, verse 31

  

Sahih International

And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.

so here i am. one day i wore 45, another day 50 and also 60.  

i'm sure i'm getting a hold of it.  once i succeed in straightening my intention, building  a stronger base inside of me... i believe this will be easier for me. for now. i'll keep on trying. it's hard when you want to change. 

"It's always the first few little steps that is so hard to take, that leads you to any wonderful journey in life."

this is one of the books i like