tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49851656433096933322024-03-05T05:16:18.765-08:00JournalMy mum taught me; a woman's mind should be the most beautiful part of her.Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.comBlogger140125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-79005351662257101972016-03-17T23:53:00.001-07:002016-03-17T23:53:40.129-07:00Why do I write?<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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I think I'm back for some more blogging. I used to write a lot back in those days. </div>
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Usually, people asked me if i have so much time to be able to write and articulate my thoughts through my facebook/insta posts. Well, I dont. </div>
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We all have 24 hours a day. I have time allocated for every hat i put on. As a student, as kakak usrah, as a housemate, as a daughter and so on. What you see on social media does not depict my real life. We choose what we wanna show. I wish life is all bed of roses. All i need to do is travel, cook or paint. But no. We have other responsibilities. And that makes us feels alive.</div>
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I love being busy. Sometimes, i get overwhelmed and a bit worked up. But that teaches me to appreciate my free time and value my own efforts throughout. Sometimes, I also have trouble in managing my time. Yesterday i spend half day baking and cooking(not that i realised it) and I decided to not go to usrah later that night coz I've already taken more time than I should. Anyway, my housemate can take the kuih I made to the gathering. So, i feel much better. I find it really hard to say no, without actually explaining myself. </div>
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" I've been to usrah the day before. So i hope it's ok if i don't turn up today because....."</div>
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That is something i need to work on. </div>
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***</div>
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I'm an expressive person. If I love you, I'll tell you. If i'm proud of you, I'll tell you. If i don't particularly like something or disagree with you, I'd love to talk about it. I don't like dispute as much as you do. But I always believe that communication is key. The faster we put thing on the table, the merrier our life would be. I guess my habit of writing things down helps me to detect what i wanna say, what i truly feel and help me to understand others' point of view. </div>
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I'm not talkative. I'm actually an introvert, but as I progress in my study environment, I put stress on my extravertness. I learn to dissociate shyness from inability to become confident. I grew out of my fear of being judged. That's how i improved in my public speaking. Trust me, I'm quite reserved. Soft-spoken and shy. lol</div>
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In a nutshell, i would encourage people to write more. Write everyday on anything. It helps you to express yourself better. You can deliver your thoughts and feelings better. You learn to gain more out of littlest, simplest thing. You learn to see more than what your eyes see. </div>
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Believe me :) </div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-71269315607052311692015-10-06T09:17:00.000-07:002015-10-06T09:34:26.373-07:00Old Age. <div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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Yesterday, I went for my first lecture on my favourite module called ' Clinical Ageing and Health'. </div>
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I made a solemn promise at the back of my head to try and recap some of the essence of my lecture and share it to people. My sharing might not necessarily focus heavily on the scientific aspect of my module (but I would include that too, albeit, on very minimum scale). </div>
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<b>The study of Ageing</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0KEjSZ05mz-FkDDGQWOXj0XXbKUipRbnKs_P97rBJaiXMVUGl5KtINnCUuILFH5BVaCdDZEoKjmp_b0dGQnPKynEj_19Bxos_FDOe3uihPMknaPFyzMU0Orqr4MkWiZoPik9SaU00Sek/s1600/2ea23648b512bba03283dccebb8b0440.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0KEjSZ05mz-FkDDGQWOXj0XXbKUipRbnKs_P97rBJaiXMVUGl5KtINnCUuILFH5BVaCdDZEoKjmp_b0dGQnPKynEj_19Bxos_FDOe3uihPMknaPFyzMU0Orqr4MkWiZoPik9SaU00Sek/s320/2ea23648b512bba03283dccebb8b0440.jpg" width="221" /></a></div>
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One thing for us to realise, is that, there's <span style="font-size: large;">variability</span> in how people age. One who aged 80 years old may differ (in all aspect) to another 80 years old fellow. What cause certain people to age 'gracefully' ?</div>
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Generally, the world life expectancy has been going up through out the years. Hundred years ago, the population may comprise of 1% of people who age more than 65 years old. Now, it has increased to 7% and expected to increase at times. In other words, there are more people who survived beyond that age (65 years old). There is probably lower falling infants / early adult death rates and increase in survival. </div>
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All, in which, results from many factors ( It's multi-factorial). </div>
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This module is very interesting. As we dig deeper into the many aspect concerning ageing- which is a substantial part of our life process, I hopefully gained better realisation of how short our life is and then, gain aspiration to work on maximising ways to make my life significant and meaningful. </div>
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Ageing is irreversible. </div>
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<b>Ageing and death.</b></div>
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<span style="color: #741b47;">'Ageing is a progressive generalised impairment of function which results in increased probability of death'</span></div>
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One of the implication of ageing is co-morbidity. Although we find more people live longer nowadays, they also live with more illness. Ideally, in added years there's compression of morbidity/ diseases. </div>
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We have been asked once in a lecture during our second year, </div>
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' Do you prefer to live life when you still have self-dependency or would you rather live longer but suffer illness and has to depend on your family?'</div>
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His question echoed through the classroom.</div>
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As we go through our lecture, Dr Barber decided to give another perspective for us to look at. We watched a TED talk (which, i REALY, REALLY RECOMMEND) :</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/IHyR7p6_hn0/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IHyR7p6_hn0?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHyR7p6_hn0">TED talk on ageing</a></div>
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<div data-contents="true" data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0">
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<span data-offset-key="1ur0n-0-0" data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$1ur0n.0:$1ur0n-0-0"><span data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$1ur0n.0:$1ur0n-0-0.0">' As my muscle weakens, my writing became strong,</span></span></div>
<div class="_209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="2jba7-0-0" data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$2jba7">
<span data-offset-key="2jba7-0-0" data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$2jba7.0:$2jba7-0-0"><span data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$2jba7.0:$2jba7-0-0.0">As I slowly lost my speech, I gain my voice,</span></span></div>
<div class="_209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="5erv9-0-0" data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$5erv9">
<span data-offset-key="5erv9-0-0" data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$5erv9.0:$5erv9-0-0"><span data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$5erv9.0:$5erv9-0-0.0">As I diminished, I grew,</span></span></div>
<div class="_209g _2vxa" data-block="true" data-offset-key="50al6-0-0" data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$50al6">
<span data-offset-key="50al6-0-0" data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$50al6.0:$50al6-0-0"><span data-reactid=".cc.1:6.0.$right.0.0.0.0.1.0.0.$editor0.0.0.$50al6.0:$50al6-0-0.0">As I lost so much, I finally started to find myself.'</span></span><br />
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'It's not having experiences that makes us wise, but reflecting on those experiences. That way, we become whole, wise and authentic!'</div>
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***</div>
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That's more like an intro to the subject of ageing. If you have any question, I'll give my best shot. Please, please pray that my final year gonna be a smooth sailing. banyaknyaaaaa scientific essay nak kena buat + journals nak kena baca T.T</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiypy6HEKV6SjMQgD3Fz9FeF1yNLIUzNiZoaVTgqsmHZWPW1jAvlSakD00A3OnAIfBt8iTaspz2nAMcKZg3r8qw-H5awx4CWGM2wQnMjgBC54QL8LvAyc87q4NE1UsUhj46dZrjws7IODk/s1600/12106780_863540990408652_1435613992955698103_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiypy6HEKV6SjMQgD3Fz9FeF1yNLIUzNiZoaVTgqsmHZWPW1jAvlSakD00A3OnAIfBt8iTaspz2nAMcKZg3r8qw-H5awx4CWGM2wQnMjgBC54QL8LvAyc87q4NE1UsUhj46dZrjws7IODk/s320/12106780_863540990408652_1435613992955698103_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I actually borrowed some books from library(waw amni). Loves this kinda topics though. InsyaAllah tolonglah jangan memberatkan bag je please -.-</div>
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xx</div>
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<b> </b></div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-83032233212374831272015-10-02T04:51:00.004-07:002015-10-02T04:52:30.934-07:00After all, we are all sinners.<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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Sunny day. People seemed
to be very happy about that. And the thing about the streets of the
cities- Newcastle and alike, you'll always be entertained by street
singers, musicians and performers while you strolled down the roads. I
was especially attracted to this one girl with her violin play. I joined
the many old folks who sat on the benches around the area. Some are
husbands, waiting for their wives. Some are just simply enjoying the
show, while being sun-kissed. Mostly old folks. </div>
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I was
alone at first, with my bag of goodies I bought earlier. I was crossing
off my to-do-list in my schedule when an old man approached. I reckoned
he wanted to have a sit besides me. I smiled and moved all the bags
closer to my side. </div>
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Quiet. Me with my book. And he, well, I let
some space for tranquility if that what he's after. He seemed to enjoy
the music. After a while, I simply had the book in my hands, but my eyes
on the show. Staring attentively. </div>
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' Can I ask you a personal
question? ' his course voice sounded fatherly. His face, friendly too.
But it was too abrupt I couldnt catch him the first time.</div>
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' Sorry?'</div>
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He repeated. And I said, ' Of course,'</div>
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' What is the significance of wearing the headscarf for you?'</div>
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For me , words is important. I can usually answer people straight away
without hesitant. I mean, those are the type of questions I always get.
'Significant' is a huge word. Why?</div>
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I was startled and took some time to think. </div>
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' Is it a religious thing?' he added.</div>
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' Essentially, yes. I believe God ordered us to cover ourselves. It's in the book. And , ultimately, it's my choice.'</div>
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' Yes, it's in the Quran isn't it? i understand you wearing the head
scarf. I have no problem with that. But why some women cover their
faces? I find it offensive.'</div>
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' Well, it's a form of act wanting
to please God, even more. The further extend chosen by some muslim.
Bearing in mind that, whatever we do, is for us- not that God needs it
from us. Allah is self-sufficient. It's their choice, just like how I
CHOOSE to wear my head scarf, only that, mine is an obligation as well' <br />
*(this is based on my own pegangan that niqab is not wajib. May Allah forgives my ambiguity, if there is)</div>
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' But i believe God, Allah or Jesus... wouldn't want us to hide our
beauty. I mean, I'm fine with you. You don't cover your face. I believe
we, women or men are made beautiful.,'</div>
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' But first you have to define 'beautiful'....' I said. </div>
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( Aku pun rasa perbualan ni deep -.-)</div>
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Pause.</div>
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' Have you met these muslim ladies, covering their face, and talk to
them? Most of them are kind-hearted people. Wearing this face covers
does not make one loose the essence of humanity one hold. They are
normal people who just, apparently choose to do whatever they wanted to
do, in this case, niqab. It's their right, so although I won't do it, I
have no say in how they should do it, right?</div>
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' You are right. But
I cant help feeling that they dont think about other people. How can
ones talk to another and let not their face expression seen to another?'</div>
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' There's nothing we can do about that, honestly. I know I said this
many time. But it's a choice, and it's a choice that involves their
right.. not ours. You can't say to a woman who dyed her hair pink, that
you want to see her hair blonde. You can't say to a women who wear
headscarf that you need to see her hair. Why their choice of wearing
niqab becomes more questionable than others? It's the perception, isn't
it?</div>
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At this point, I need to loosen things up. ~</div>
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' I agree that we are all beautiful, tho, like you said.'</div>
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He smiled and nodded. </div>
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' I hope you dont mind me asking all this questions. Yes, we are
beautiful people. One is more beautiful than another sinner.. no,
scratch that. After all, we are all sinners.'</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiURaEMjrdsntJ06K6KElPF7q7QAETd3xtxZl6w99UxAM7kYhCGRNoiOZ0XPW7ibqQFsvhsB4ucIX08OErj2dGwNklX0FMDy9GoGn6w4tHlu0VNev7M9O-tIF2hAjYx7X8VXpe4Nkwqb_w/s1600/12107967_861995380563213_3577511237040033510_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiURaEMjrdsntJ06K6KElPF7q7QAETd3xtxZl6w99UxAM7kYhCGRNoiOZ0XPW7ibqQFsvhsB4ucIX08OErj2dGwNklX0FMDy9GoGn6w4tHlu0VNev7M9O-tIF2hAjYx7X8VXpe4Nkwqb_w/s400/12107967_861995380563213_3577511237040033510_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Aku pun
tak tahu kenapa perbualan dengan pak cik ni rasa sangat berfalsafah.
Buat diri rasa nak berfikir. Padahal aku ke bandar hari ni, nak fikir
siapkan kerja, balik rumah etc. It's true. Sometimes you just have to go
out there and take the opportunity to talk to someone around you-
especially old people, travellers and someone who went through a lot.
You never know what lesson is in stored for you. Kata orang, tarbiyah
jalanan? huh entahlah, aku pun buntu. Tapi, perbualan hari ini aku
anggap satu teguran dari Tuhan untuk mempersoalkan apa itu 'significant'
kembali.</div>
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Mungkin. </div>
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xMiss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-28340732369051518542015-07-23T07:25:00.002-07:002015-07-23T07:25:52.377-07:00Why i love to draw<div style="text-align: center;">
22:55 , Terminal 10</div>
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Prague- London Stanted</div>
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I was waiting for the gate to open. There was a pair of old couple sitting beside me. They were talking to each other in a language I can't comprehend. The woman looked at me and smiled, gesturing the seat next to her. I nodded. Feeling rather grateful. </div>
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' Thank you, I appreciate that.'</div>
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It has become a habit ( i wish and hope) for me to <span style="font-size: large;">say it aloud</span> that I appreciate it when a stranger do something kind to me. Saying thank you is a given, of course. I love to consciously look to his/her eyes and make him/her see that I value whatever it was that's been offered to me-no matter how small or big it was.</div>
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To be able to help someone, when you do not know them is an intentional effort. A noble act.</div>
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****</div>
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Usually, when I'm alone. I observe people and my surroundings. I'll jot down things in my notebook/journal. I love to engage in a conversation with the people I met along the way-especially, when traveling. When i was in the airport, I realised that i did not have any form of paper/ writing pads with me. That is completely fine with me most of the time. But not when I'm alone and had nothing to do. </div>
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I could, perhaps, killed my time by sipping down a cup of Cappucino at Costa. Enjoying my own company is of my own solitude. I had a book with me. It was in fact, a gift from my dear friend. A soul sister. 'Reclaim Your Heart' by Yasmin Mogahed. It's my current read and i like to take it slow. A page at a time. I take time to ingest and internalise the books i read. I sometimes highlight the points i love and wrote some little notes of my thoughts when i read the lines. </div>
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In desperate need for self-expression (what i like to call writing is), I used the back of the gift wrapper to sketch. Sketching with a pen is much harder than when you are using a pencil. </div>
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Especially when you are trying to draw a person. A particular one.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvkYQHa0NE7y5rc-EEL-3fl6LOibJd_DeB_Ikxx3v2YT9XwmzRjyB0DHezhcHpOsNiQfyEIS_Qw-h9MExzWVyC5KWJByY4D_KcvduLYHZBrhqgHejgczF2ACLTIOcU2FiC0TEB5P06r04/s1600/ikhwan.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvkYQHa0NE7y5rc-EEL-3fl6LOibJd_DeB_Ikxx3v2YT9XwmzRjyB0DHezhcHpOsNiQfyEIS_Qw-h9MExzWVyC5KWJByY4D_KcvduLYHZBrhqgHejgczF2ACLTIOcU2FiC0TEB5P06r04/s320/ikhwan.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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there. first piece that used only pen and coffee. I initiate few conversation because of doing something like this. random people just say hi.<br />
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Love it. </div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-7159740254497318292015-07-19T16:56:00.001-07:002015-07-19T16:56:53.672-07:00Midnight rants.<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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<i>'Dalam lelah, dalam resah, dalam bimbang</i></div>
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<i> hilang arahku, dzikrullah... </i></div>
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<i>dzikrullah....</i></div>
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<i>Kerna jiwa yang meronta, hampa segala tanpa cahyaMu..'</i></div>
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Lirik lagu Opick berkumandang, sayup2 kedengaran. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzr4DfHziT3EdGyLb2EUlcyL8CsDkBFnj1ZEnn-qhjgb4R1Ycskq8N1cG0yUroOYy24LdCuB-GnoHiWec7u0ShPhL2q4aDgI10adpPah0mUL8SKR2huROvGok24KLjpriKt7o3WPCB1Y/s1600/390432_270912376280902_157082707663870_757661_478553172_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixzr4DfHziT3EdGyLb2EUlcyL8CsDkBFnj1ZEnn-qhjgb4R1Ycskq8N1cG0yUroOYy24LdCuB-GnoHiWec7u0ShPhL2q4aDgI10adpPah0mUL8SKR2huROvGok24KLjpriKt7o3WPCB1Y/s200/390432_270912376280902_157082707663870_757661_478553172_n.jpg" width="199" /></a></div>
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Have you ever felt like you are of no place to speak and being silent only kills you softly inside? You have your doubt but you also have your hope. If I remain silent, would that make me ignorant? I always aspire to become a concious person. I would have lied to myself if all those stories and conflict bothers me not. </div>
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Who am I to blatantly said something when i knew very little of everything. When I contribute very little- always each time, hoping it's not too insignificant. I was not the best person to talk about politics, fiqhs, issues, economy. I'm not <strike>mr</strike> miss-know-it-all. I have to read and think hard before carrying an usrah. And gosh, the adrenaline to speak up/ tells stories or give advices when I myself, need to have my own tazkiyatun nafs nevertheless (even more).</div>
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Many things happens. </div>
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We need to reevaluate, recheck and re-internalise our reasons. Why i do this? Why i choose this?</div>
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Seek truth. Grace in actions. Beradab lah.</div>
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Semoga kita istiqamah.</div>
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I pray for a better Malaysia. </div>
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A better home for my children. </div>
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Ya Nur, Ya Hadi.</div>
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forgive us.</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-87244370268526185972015-07-19T16:16:00.002-07:002015-07-19T16:16:39.159-07:00Aidilfitri 2016<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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12.55 am</div>
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Prague</div>
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Selamat hari raya, maaf zahir dan batin.</div>
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It was my first raya away from family. I find it hard. I'm so used to having my very big family. Of my annoying little bros and sisters, my ummi, abah and our expanding family both from abah and ummi's side. It's abah's turn this year. So they all went back/ 'balik kampung' to Kg. Parit Haji Wahab in Perak. </div>
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It was rather peculiar to find myself on this festive day of all in another place, so unfamiliar and new. I'm currently in Prague. It was a last minute decision to celebrate my Raya with my friend at her aunt's. Atikah's aunt works at the Embassy. We are planning to go for a hike tomorrow at the Swiss Bohemian National park. It's honestly gonna be my first experience on hiking. I'm looking forward to this new adventure though.</div>
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I miss my family. I knew i kept saying this. I rang them many time, i can joke around and say i miss them and i want to be home. But of course I'll try to make it sound so jovial while my heart was aching. I knew my ummi would worry if i sound too melancholy. I knew she misses me. </div>
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I'm glad i had last raya with my family and i baked them cookies/cakes. I bought groceries for our home. I picked my sisters up fr school. I cooked lunch and dinners for my family. Those are things i'm very glad i did. </div>
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I truly am.</div>
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My ummi posted a baju kurung last month. She insisted that her anak dara should have a new pair of baju kurung for hari raya. No matter how persistent I am in convincing her that I'm fine with my baju kurung collection (that she kept adding every time i went back to UK), she just wont give up. So she did sent me one. </div>
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I love it. I'm gonna wear more baju kurung next term and in the future (generally). It reminds me of you. I feel close to my ummi this way. Just take it as my love manifestation.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggIIqqc0aEv-tchtiw0jeg7HPLhNmDH9YTU3AkbNH8RDRaxLgxLG52MICahO_OqEAICrz62ye1nJaiCJHuOZ84lSRJvVBiapnu8yRlKOke3sDZ2JBge5qZn5Dx-cf8YTJ14TsJMen92sY/s1600/2015-07-19+16.18.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggIIqqc0aEv-tchtiw0jeg7HPLhNmDH9YTU3AkbNH8RDRaxLgxLG52MICahO_OqEAICrz62ye1nJaiCJHuOZ84lSRJvVBiapnu8yRlKOke3sDZ2JBge5qZn5Dx-cf8YTJ14TsJMen92sY/s320/2015-07-19+16.18.12.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We are on the infamous Charles Bridge in the middle of Prague City.</td></tr>
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I'm still having sunburns from my Germany & Copenhagen jaulah last time, and would probably be more sunburnt post hiking. </div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-43129566274626994922015-04-11T08:47:00.001-07:002015-04-11T09:32:13.664-07:00Bukan budak sekolah agama<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah.</div>
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Semoga ada kebaikan dalam penulisan ini. Semoga ada tekad setelah keinsafan ini.</div>
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**** </div>
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<b>Panggilan dari rumah</b></div>
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Sudah hampir seminggu tidak menelefon ke rumah. Tidak tahu kenapa kali ini sering kali sahaja ada perkara lain yang membuatkan hasrat itu terbantut each time. Kadang-kadang kerana waktu sudah menginjak larut malam di Malaysia, keberadaan umi dan abah di tempat kerja, atau mungkin mereka sibuk dengan urusan seperti menghantar adik ke kelas mengaji, rumah nenek dan sbgnya. So, we only had our daily conversation in whatsapp.</div>
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Yesterday, i was talking of how restless I feel. </div>
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Rupa-rupanya hari ini setelah mendengar suara umi lewat perbualan telefon , hati jadi tenang kembali. That's exactly what I'm missing.</div>
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Sebab dah lama x cakap, we talked for almost two hours. Adik ada enam orang, jadi this is the time untuk dengar update progress mereka one by one. Umi always talk to me about my siblings' progress and it's been a while. Listening to what they have achieved or what they are dealing with now makes me feel sooo left behind. </div>
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The whole time, saya akan cakap banyak kali ' Eh, sungguh ko ummi? besarnyo adik along loni. '</div>
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<b>Growth</b></div>
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About a week ago, one of my brother who's now a handsome 18 y/o boy gave me quite a surprise when he pm-ed me and asked me how i was doing. That's typically normal. then he said that he missed me and wished i would come home this year. That totally made me see him in different light. He's grown mature. And wise enough to express his affection to his sister. You know how in a boy's life, psychologically, there are a few phases. And i was expecting him to be in that 'individualistic-and-no-one-understand-me' phase where <br />
they are less likely to engage with people around them, let alone confess their emotions. I was very proud tbh. He's now in Maahad muhammadi. Ummi cerita sekarang kat rumah kalau Hafiz balik dari asrama, he'll conduct solat berjemaah ramai-ramai kat ruang tamu. He loves tarannum. Such sweet voive he's blessed with. </div>
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Ummi has a dream that she always, always shares with me. 'Kalau boleh dalam family kita, dalam kalangan anak-anak umi, umi nak sngt kalau ada yang hafal Al Quran, boleh buat jadi imam solat, tahu hukum hakam.'</div>
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...but most importantly of course umi nak anak soleh dan solehah. </div>
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Ummi ada satu converstation dengan Hafiz about 3 days ago. </div>
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Dekat maahad ni, usually pelajar-pelajar akan di categorised into groups untuk fokus hafazan dengan tilawah. Dan Hafiz pilih dan dipilih untuk tilawah. Umi tanya, 'kenapa tak menghafal je, Hariz yang sekolah biasa tu pun dah start hafal kat sekolah dia. '</div>
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Ummi kata jawapan Hafiz made her think twice.</div>
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He said, ' Yang paling penting sebelum hafal ialah kena kenal tajwid, tertib, bacaan Al Quran yang betul dulu umi. Biar Hafiz belajar Al Quran dulu.'</div>
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*** </div>
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My youngest brother, aged 13 now, was studying in Faris petra. He was always the smart one. Great in sport, loved by his teachers and charming to his friends. Since school started this year, he enrolled dalam satu hafazan course outside of his class hours. Now umi cakap dia dah berjaya hafal a few juzuk. Hariz yang I knew when i leave him last time was just a little boy yang nak upsr, ambitious, but at the same time very playful, such a tease to his sisters back at home and downright, a child. How everyone has grown up!</div>
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And how they have progressed so much respectively.</div>
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Syahmi who just had his SPM result has been going/staying couple of days a week in pondok kat kelantan. Belajar agama dengan tok guru, bertalaqqi. He turned out to be a very responsible guy along with my syazwan, his elder brother. These two, are the people yang selalu kat rumah sekarang untuk tolong umi dengan abah. </div>
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<b>Bukan budak sekolah agama</b></div>
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I was tired. Letih dengan expectation<b>. </b>I decided today to never again said such degrading words macam 'saya budak sekolah biasa je', ' saya bukan budak sbp/mrsm' atau 'saya bukan budak sekolah agama', 'dulu patut amik medik', or ' dulu tak kenal usrah' etc.</div>
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These are words that ridicule ourselves to its expectation. And sometimes, it allows you to believe that you are worth its expectation. Mungkin, it would never change anything, for the fact that it's who you are. But at the very least, it would no longer sound like I'm somehow remorseful or sorry for the path I've gone<span style="font-family: inherit;"> through</span>. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm not defined by my past. But the past surely made me who I am today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">I thought about this because i was just too inspired by my siblings. I knew how they are. their goodness, their downside, their flaws and yet, they still progress and grow beautifully in their own way, own path. </span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">Dua</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></b> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Umi talked about my last two sisters. Amirah was not very good in Math.Ummi was accompanying her to do her homework.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Ummi said that her friend suggested a few ayat untuk amalkan. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Kedengaran suara Aina sebagai latar belakang cuba menarik perhatian umi dengan bacaan doa tersebut. 'Ina ingat doh umi!' . She sounded so cheerful. Every morning, they would recite the dua, and umi will baca dua tu sambil letak tangan kat ubun-ubun adik. Serius jeles.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><img class="_4-od" data-reactid=".bh.0.0.1.1" height="640" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t34.0-12/11149458_776157562480329_4240308228990115127_n.jpg?oh=b956fec9efb367e470dbfe7d756233cb&oe=552B7D51&__gda__=1428887022_b34cca8b04544d043b4420db326373aa" width="360" /></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Sahih International</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span id="verse_3015_language_6_content">[And he said], "My Lord, grant me authority and join me with the righteous.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Ash-Shua'ra' (26: 83)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I would say, keluarga sangat-sangatlah penting.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A Friend can only motivate you so far.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A lover can only inspire you so far. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">E<span style="font-family: inherit;">verything takes time. <span style="font-family: inherit;">D</span>an mungkin tak akan sampai tahap yang kita impikan pun. tapi tak salah nak bermimpi. <span style="font-family: inherit;">Tak salah juga nak turut mencuba. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">May Allah bless them both, ummi abah and grants them jannah.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">and may we become better<span style="font-family: inherit;">.</span></span><br />
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xx</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-41681878022590655252015-04-10T15:41:00.002-07:002015-04-10T15:41:30.638-07:00Inner beauts.<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah.</div>
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We all love free times. Kita semua suka masa lapang, masa yang mana kita tidak terkejar-kejar untuk melakukan sesuatu tugasan. Or mungkin masa yang mana we have more power to manipulate ourself into doing nothing coz we are so free! Memang kerja-kerja itu mungkin sentiasa ada, tapi ada sesetengah waktu yang mana ruang untuk diri ternyata lebih luas dan aman. Ruang yang kita cipta sendiri. Cuti musim bunga berbaki tak lebih tiga hari. I was home the entire day.</div>
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Pernah tak rasa macam you have all the time, daripada pagi sampai ke petang or malam, tapi tak tahu apa yang dah buat. time flew just like that. For me, that's a sound indication that I haven't done something meaningful today. And oh how it made you feel so restless. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You have all day to rest, and you feel even more restless.</span></div>
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Paradox.</div>
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<b>Neutralisation</b></div>
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<br />Usually, when it comes to this. We'll go for some pages of Al quran or make some house chores to feel a little bit better. Tapi you know what, I guess sometimes, what you do for larger portion of the day will really determine the amount of good things you have to do to actually feel better later. </div>
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Get it? </div>
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Ok lah. So i watched 3 movies today (i know, banyak kan? T.T) and of between getting breakfast, naik turun tangga (bilik kat attic), solat zuhur, made lunch, and suddenly it's asar- which was around 5pm. What have i done the entire day. You know when we have to summarize essay, we have to take down isi-isi penting? Well if i were to summarize today, i just knew that i wont be too happy. </div>
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So, i'm in the process of neutralising my day. And this blog post is one of the things hasil daripada proses ni. I was going through some videos of talks in youtube from wardina, prog The Bidadari konvensyen and so on.</div>
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<b>Beauty</b></div>
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One of the talk by Ustazah Norhafizah Musa was on 'DiriMu memang Cantik' (muslimat). Dont ask me how i get to this. dah memang jump in from one place to another on topik2 sisters kan. lol But because it relates so much to what i was searching for today, i just need to share it. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span dir="RTL" lang="AR-SA" style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">فصبر جميل</span></span></div>
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In the Quran, Allah said that patience is beautiful.</div>
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So kata ustazah, beautiful(which is subjective) people are those who are <span style="font-size: large;">patient</span>. Kita nampak seseorang cantik bila he/she punya hati tenang, redha dan sabar.</div>
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In psychology, this is called self-acceptance which eventually florishes to confidence and happiness/positivity. I recalled reading one of the therapy for some people having problems such as Body Dysmorphic Disorder(BDD), low confidence or depression (low self esteem) which involved talking to yourself. Contohnya, beradaa di depan cermin dan cakap something like, ' I accept myself. I love myself for who I am and I'm happy.'</div>
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and it's very, very interesting that Islam offers us a definition much bigger than that. Ustazah cakap, why not hug yourself every night and instead of apa yang disarankan oleh psychologist, we talk to ourself dari kaca mata seorang muslim.</div>
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There's three things, ustazah mentioned :</div>
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1. Ya Allah, aku redha dengan diri aku.</div>
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2. Ya Allah, aku sayang akan diriku sebagai amanah daripadaMu (meaning that we'll avoid from menzalimi diri)</div>
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3. Ya Allah, Aku maafkan diriku akan kesalahan yang pernah aku lakukan dan Engkau jauhh lebih pemaaf daripada diriku.</div>
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Three elements; redha (ultimate acceptance), Self-loving and Self-forgiving.</div>
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<br />Three things you can implement in yourself to become better spiritually day by day. To become a beautiful soul. I said soul because this is not about what you are on the outside. Rather, it was how you manage your feelings and emotion dalam membentuk sabar, redha dan sayang.</div>
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<b>Inside out</b></div>
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Whatever we have inside of us, it will be seen outside. Ustazah cakap, cuba tengok balik what people always say when they see you.</div>
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Okay. </div>
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Contohnya, this one person each time orang jumpa dia, people will ask her; 'Awak demam ke.' or ' Awak sakit ke?' or 'nampak letih je'</div>
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even when she's not (most of the time). </div>
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Cuba cek. mungkin dalaman kita tidak gembira. mungkin dalaman kita tak sabar. or mungkin kita tak sakit tapi iman kita sakit?</div>
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peh peh peh.</div>
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<br />deep sangat ustazah. Harap lepas ni jumpa orang takde yang tetiba ' kau sakit ke meni?'. </div>
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Kalau ' kau bahagia ke meni?' </div>
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Haa, yang ni takpe. lol</div>
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kbai.</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-19717578317241775372015-04-05T05:52:00.002-07:002015-04-05T06:04:51.613-07:00Spring Field Trip<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah.</div>
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It's been a very long tiring day, but fun nonetheless. Woke up that morning with some thoughts lingering from the night before ' Is it gonna rain? Have i got things settled? Will the bus come on time? would the edu guide card works? yada yada.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">An attempt to make them stay in line.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Standing there and be like, 'Okay, this is hard.'</td></tr>
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Headcounts was hard. Children just <span style="font-size: large;">never</span> stay at the same place. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">'Is everyone ready?' Got loud yes (es) but their excited faces barely seen. Coz they were all so tiny, hidden behind those huge seats. So cute meh.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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***</div>
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I don't want to write on how the program goes or how we technically get things sorted.</div>
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It would rather be on the things I learnt and experience today as a teacher/guardian to these beautiful children. </div>
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Attending children, even for a single day, gives me a sound idea of how challenging, hard and complicated a mother's job is. While everything said is true, it's almost incomprehensible that by the end of the day, you actually feel like it's the most fulfilling and rewarding thing done.</div>
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<b>Nature and Children. </b></div>
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The weather was brilliant alhamdulillah. It was raining yesterday so i was keeping my hands crossed. Not today, please.</div>
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Some of the paths are slightly muddy. But I think the management team got it sorted out since they were expecting a lot of visitors for Easter celebration. A lot of people keep entering the compound since morning and by the time we arrived, we went straight to the playground area. Fast enough to mark our territory lol. Only then couples of parent came with their little boy/girl(s).</div>
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I noticed something peculiar and extraordinary about their parenting style which I see less in Malaysia generally. Those children goes straight into the mud and step in the puddles so nonchalantly, as if, knowing their parent wont be upset with that at all. Unlike some parent, who expect children to play and think like adults. Tak kotorkan baju and all. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">They let children play like children.</span></div>
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It's an amazing sight to observe.</div>
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I was genuinely astounded by the simplicity and huge curiosity of these small children. And how it was expressed was just sometimes goes unnoticed to adult especially. One boy stopped at random places and lying flat on the ground. Me too, find it odd. But when I asked him 'why?'. He said, he wanted to <span style="font-size: large;">feel</span> the surfaces. And only then, I noticed he did that in all different surfaces, pebbled, grassy etc. It's just their unique way of exploring the world. I must not limit that with my adult mind. And i secretly wish to go back and try to see this world through a child's eyes. wild curiosity, unburdened mind, no fear of expectation, fearless really and positive.</div>
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<a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/10941822_772966812799404_7043084036413015888_n.jpg?oh=565f0500ff57ee088f2ad902ada3bec9&oe=55BE1DA7&__gda__=1438283030_37cdfe1c87bf711fab198f698223b10e" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="spotlight" height="110" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/10941822_772966812799404_7043084036413015888_n.jpg?oh=565f0500ff57ee088f2ad902ada3bec9&oe=55BE1DA7&__gda__=1438283030_37cdfe1c87bf711fab198f698223b10e" width="200" /></a><a href="https://scontent-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/11088332_772966749466077_1997199203731032113_n.jpg?oh=3ec0a4470d34a57fe8f34f834ad44ebd&oe=55A2C58E" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="spotlight" height="111" src="https://scontent-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/11088332_772966749466077_1997199203731032113_n.jpg?oh=3ec0a4470d34a57fe8f34f834ad44ebd&oe=55A2C58E" width="200" /></a></div>
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<b>Warmth and strength</b></div>
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One of my reading is 'Compelling people' written by John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihx9k-gziDpYCnlLgcHfnzG1c-FQcg4JZn0oBBOivZ0zmZu-6xWlK5SZCTmD34xcBrGcGQpvvuQwc_vceXzdodRmzSkVX85Dz_VVtcfrv3jb5xo_nMBeHfVHmkG5Zdqu2Jp1Cg3fWKBBo/s1600/k.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihx9k-gziDpYCnlLgcHfnzG1c-FQcg4JZn0oBBOivZ0zmZu-6xWlK5SZCTmD34xcBrGcGQpvvuQwc_vceXzdodRmzSkVX85Dz_VVtcfrv3jb5xo_nMBeHfVHmkG5Zdqu2Jp1Cg3fWKBBo/s1600/k.jpeg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
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'<i>When we make judgements to people, we look past these personality factors (introverts, neurotic etc) to strength and warmth, because a person's strength and warmth are ultimately the factors most likely to affect our life.</i> '</div>
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<i>'The upper-right corner is clearly the place to be. People there are on our team, and they are the best players. This is wherethe people we call 'charismatic' hang out. There is not a lot of company up there, because it is not obvious how to master the tension between strength and warmth and project enough of both simultaneously to earn both great respect and great affection.'</i></div>
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I just love psychology. </div>
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It's just very close to what we are dealing with on daily basis. It helps you to improve, not just as leader, friend, lover or family member, but really, as a human being.</div>
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As for yesterday, dealing with children, of so many different personality and upbringing. It was interesting and it makes you think big time.</div>
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<b>Parenting</b></div>
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I always got myself confused. For now, I'll stick to what I believe. (It might change through experience)<br />
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'Tegas pula, hendaklah dizahirkan melalui pendirian, peraturan dan
keputusan. Wasilah untuk ia disampaikan, banyak bergantung kepada
kekemasan berbahasa kita. Untuk bertegas, caranya bukan menengking.
Tetapi menuturkan mesej kita dengan ayat yang berkuasa tinggi'<br />
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When children (of a certain age group) have a dispute with you, i just
cant help feeling that communication is the best thing you can offer. I
would not leave the child, until I got my decision justified. Some
people might straight away ignore the child. This would only be last
resort after communication doesn't work. I think.<br />
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While we were playing games at the open field, one of the girls deserted herself and cried. She had suggested to play a 'stick in the mud' and I said, 'Yes, we can ask your friend later'. The whole group however decided to go for 'musical statue' instead. It was a challenge to talk to her with our decision set.(we've played musical statue). She feels like it is unfair and told me that I was lying. Sumpah rasa bad and no, that's not it.<br />
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So, I talk to her. Trying to reason with her that we are in a team and decision must come after getting opinion from everybody considered. The majority will decide. And not getting your opinion accepted does not mean that your friend despised you or you are somehow left out. And alhamdulillah she understood.<br />
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I go over and over again after short statement/reason. 'do you understand teacher? why i do that?'<br />
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I will continue explaining that part until she nod and move on to another.<br />
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*What I did may differ had she been a much smaller girl who does not know how to reason yet. <br />
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But, it's important to acknowledge that <span style="font-size: large;">each child is different to another </span> because they have different upbringing at home.<br />
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<b>Children's talk</b><br />
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You have no idea how humorous or fascinating a conversation with children is.<br />
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'What does a plant need to survive? Your friend told us just know that they gonna need sunlight and air. What else does it need to grow?'<br />
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'Chocolate. It needs chocolate.'<br />
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'Teacher, why is it called nenek si bongkok tiga? '<br />
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'Can there be more than one nenek'<br />
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Gosh. <3<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" class="spotlight" height="266" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/10426333_10152618530877126_291241987000822496_n.jpg?oh=c96263e64ad4c456b64ace128bd99d18&oe=55B8969F&__gda__=1437787924_07dfb01377d9c72de47ef000c8fc15d5" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our group.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" class="spotlight" height="263" src="https://scontent-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/v/t1.0-9/11025663_10152618533657126_6510507836531993415_n.jpg?oh=140c8d4ede24dae09640260db9a2d534&oe=55B26881" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
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<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="266" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xft1/v/t1.0-9/11053419_10152618538747126_4975971274913736709_n.jpg?oh=00f51649cdccf43ad27b8c296ba2018d&oe=55994692&__gda__=1436873312_0e22866f3b8bfb0716e8bfd9a41f784b" width="400" /><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="" class="spotlight" height="225" src="https://scontent-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10928204_772966979466054_5481858388438556868_n.jpg?oh=2aa487246945989b2160b68a46f857ec&oe=55BBCE14" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">and pray together out in the nature.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Forest was amazing.<br />
I too wish to be a cool mother one day. Delve into the nature, we'll walk the muddy trails and gaze upon the stars on a wide open field. oh well.<br />
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<img alt="" class="spotlight" height="225" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/11130216_772967019466050_2168511437386253062_n.jpg?oh=5414fd9bf725c75d6fb269c4deb01473&oe=55B153E1&__gda__=1436436709_919c17f4f24220eefc83e5cbe81b14b6" width="400" /><br />
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Until then, yesterday was an enjoyable lesson to me.<br />
Looking forward for more. <br />
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-5040148265138426512015-01-18T14:17:00.001-08:002015-01-18T14:17:24.293-08:0022nd<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah.</div>
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Subhanallah, alhamdulillah, Allahuakhbar!</div>
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Turning 22 few days ago.</div>
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I just wanted to say that I'm deeply touched by the people around me. It just got me thinking,' man, what did i do to get treated this way?' </div>
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Allah the greatest, the kindest of all. Thank you!</div>
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My lovely sisters put their efforts in making hand-made birthday cards.</div>
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One of my friend-a first timer, learn guitar birthday melody and sent me a video of her playing it-tho in most unusual way of holding the guitar. </div>
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I once asked my friend who loves to play the piano to play me a song. actually two of my fav songs. 'cant help falling in love' and 'fly me to the moon'. They put up a video of them playing the song to me which was amazing and heart warming !</div>
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Another friend og mine pm-ed me a drawing of a girl in hijab. my name on it's side. 'akak sketch sambil stalk gambar student poster ky awak!' . Again, I'm so amazed.</div>
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My housemates prepared a beautiful birthday surprises. There my house alarm goes crazy at 12 am only to find them with candle-lit doughnuts and cake. Awhh</div>
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Received a card with unique sayings too. 'You are like a mum to me' (really?) lol </div>
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Received another card fr 2 of my friend that says things i'm very very thankful of. That wished me things i really2 hope and longed for. :)</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">“Whoever makes you feel</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">deserves to know how they’ve</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">impacted you.” </span></div>
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And I'll make sure each and everyone of them know, that I appreciate them and I too, love them.</div>
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*Muhasabah*</div>
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If I'm to follow the normal span of life of a muslim, that would be around 60 years old. and I have lived ....one third of it.</div>
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[What have i done. what have i achieved. What sins have i commit. Have i repent.]</div>
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If ajal does not come first.</div>
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Let us change for the better Amni.</div>
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InsyaAllah.</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-69125748300501013992015-01-08T11:07:00.000-08:002015-01-08T11:07:13.527-08:00watdehelattitude<div style="text-align: center;">
First one, of 2015.</div>
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Bismillah.</div>
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The first usrah that we had for this semester was in our home sweet home. We were chatting, laughing and sharing some wonderful summer experiences . Alhamdulillah it was a full house. Exchanging great stories, some of us went volunteering, one of us got married, some talked about the ilm fest they went to and share what they got, and oh, excuse the food huntings excitement. XD</div>
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Anyway, there's one take-away point from this usrah that kick start my new semester in a novel way. That shifted my paradigm basically. And that is;</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">#watdehelattitude</span></b></div>
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<b>****</b></div>
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My first year was not too bad. It's just that I'm in this 'transition state'. Of fitting in and knowing where to put myself at this so called social hierarchy/ status quo- that i dont quite understand. In the end, I was just that one girl in my own 'cover-her-hair-labelled group'. Not a nerd. Not a socially loud and boisterous lad either. nor am I socially awkward. I was just an exclusion. I was just exclusive to put it in much better way. #foreveralone (but i was happy to be able to potrey myself as a muslim so easily just by what i'm wearing)</div>
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People noticed me coz i wear hijab, obviously. *Disclaimer ; it was a huge group of 400+ people for Bsc Biomedical Science taking the same module during the first year. You cant possibly know everyone. </div>
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But to have at least one person as a friend would be very helpful. </div>
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A friend- as in, those who talk and socialise with you even outside of the academic classes. Well, I talked to many people, casually having small talks like 'how's your weekend' or 'How do you find the lecture'.. But there's no real attachment. they are dinstinctive conversation which does not co-relate to one another since we dont have any mutual experiences or talks before. It's undeniable that I sometimes felt left out...or unable to connect with people around me. There's just too much differences- i thought to myself. (But, life outside of school is okay. I'm not that miserable at all >.<)</div>
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Being a people person, it drains energy out of me. I'd rather sit alone than pretending to be in a group of people who're not really interested in making genuine connection/ conversation etc with me. But, to put it simply, I try to suck it up last semester and just bare with it. Everyday I came out the house fully charged only to be back at home drained- emotionally exhausted. Then, I befriended a Hong Kong girl, Fiona. Alhamdulillah2. A lovely, wonderful friend of mine . We went out tgt a lot and have our sleep over, random chit chats. That gave me sort of a great 'recovery' to enjoy my uni life as normal student would. </div>
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However, during last summer she broke this news to me of her not coming back to Ncl for good to continue her study in HK. It was a like a shell bomb dropped down and shattered my world to pieces ( k, over meni). To be honest, I was a bit scared to face the new semester. I talked to my ummi and as her words never fail to soothe me, again the same this time, she said, <span style="font-size: large;">'Allah yang pegang hati manusia. Jaga hubungan dengan Allah, dan Dia akan jaga hubungan kita dengan manusia.'</span></div>
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Basic rules we sometimes forget. :)</div>
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***</div>
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So, when this one sister told the rest of the halaqah about her aspiration of this watdehel attitude, I was enlightened. Neglecting what others say and focus on whatever it is that you want to achieve. To remove that inner strain and mentality that stops you from progressing. She shared her stories. It sounded exactly like what i had experienced last time. Now it's her final year and amazing things started to happen when she decided to take this step. Her spirit somehow have been uplifted too and it shines through!- and she jokingly said that it was partly because she's just married. *no comment on that matter* lol</div>
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As past of my self-betterment journey, i decided to just try and let go. Slowly, taking more steps to enhance relationship with people and also, to be involved in many more things so that I can get valuable experience and as added bonus, meet new people along the way. I'm normally rather undecisive. Talk about things I love but take ages to consider on joining- just because i was waiting for a friend to go with. </div>
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I started volunterring in Oxfam. </div>
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Gathering my gut to start a conversation with a stranger (yang diyakini selamat) lol</div>
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Be more bold in my approaches.</div>
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What i meant from being bold is, to talk when i have to talk -no matter how stupid it may or may not have sounded. I used to be a well-reserved, quiet person at school. At seminar, I wont be talking as much except at times when i have to. I remembered the first lab session we had for this semester, it was a six hour lab session mind you. and almost half of the time is generally ...you, sitting down and talking with people around you as you wait for bacteria to incubate. It could have been an enjoyable, and 'x perasan masa berjalan' one <span style="font-size: large;">or</span> simply a super awkward time. Alhamdulillah, gather all my courage to set things right and test run this watdehel attitude. I became much approchable in person and found myself making friends more easily. I'm quite certain those people in my bench was probably thinking that I was behaving rather differently from last semester. </div>
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And Allah has been so kind to me to replace that one friend I had to accompany me last time, with two now. Both being so lovely and makes my second year a much better experience as a whole- academically and socially. It makes me realise that, while it's true I can just mix with fellow muslims or just hang out with malaysians (from my school not in my batch), i would have lost the opportunity to introduce my religion to people around me as well.To mend the misconception. To show them the beauty in what we believe in. And what better way of doing this other than actually being their friends? So, we can both understand each other. </div>
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So, among my relationship goal with them is to do these : </div>
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If you want to know someone in depth and for someone to know you in depth :</div>
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1. live with them</div>
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2. travel with them</div>
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3. work with them</div>
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We had our sleep over, we work our way tgt in studies and I'm looking forward to have our road trip to highland very soon. <3</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicj5ibM836xyhtBhXIy8JttyKQlO2HUFdAHXfk_iIsLEe9AhxwxHDYvzBHt0tCLjk4S9wGm-MhPz7H5MOuHs5VnarbiW0AqGsyJ5qMnxT_h0NJCPQMWf9Aq5BbCHSIQ8p4691ZIVzwl8Q/s1600/10892012_730708087025277_5643686368207958431_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicj5ibM836xyhtBhXIy8JttyKQlO2HUFdAHXfk_iIsLEe9AhxwxHDYvzBHt0tCLjk4S9wGm-MhPz7H5MOuHs5VnarbiW0AqGsyJ5qMnxT_h0NJCPQMWf9Aq5BbCHSIQ8p4691ZIVzwl8Q/s1600/10892012_730708087025277_5643686368207958431_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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****</div>
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I find no self-benefitting purpose to proclaim as to why I wrote this down, other than hoping that someone would read it and be inspired to do the same. And also to not feel discourage when you are the only muslim/ malaysian in your course- coz you are simply not alone.</div>
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Let's do this. #watdehelattitude</div>
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xx</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-54274947532508413722014-10-14T01:44:00.002-07:002014-10-14T01:45:22.597-07:00raya day in autumn.<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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It was super cold this morning and not a single ray of light brighten the land of the geordies. I manage to pack a lunch box earlier this morning. Yesterday was raya celebration at St Basil which is actually a church in Wingrove road.</div>
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'Is it a catholic church you are going lovelies?'</div>
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the taxi driver asked from his seat, glancing us from the front mirror. It must have been a weird sight , 3 girls wearing fancy attire (baju kurung with bright colours) that suit a festive occasion, giving a church direction instead.</div>
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' urm, we are not very sure too' we said, honestly.</div>
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It was a wonderful event, meeting good ol and new people of newcastle.</div>
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It was the time for a new committee election again. i was nominated for pengetua Sekolah Balai and won it. another amanah i'm very afraid of yet a wonderful experience i'm looking forward to.</div>
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May Allah ease.</div>
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'if you want to touch the future, touch the life o a children'</div>
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Biiznillah! :)</div>
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xxx</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-77046663175496379982014-09-29T14:18:00.004-07:002014-09-29T14:18:49.806-07:00Back to school<div style="text-align: center;">
I just need to write. let out the things I had in my mind.<br />
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Bismillah.<br />
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So here's to my first day of school.<br />
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I have a 6 hours lab session today. Started early at 9 am and a short one hour break from 10 to 11am . 11 to 5- Solid hours for Polymerise chain reaction practical. It feels like it takes almost forever. It is super meticulous- if i were to say what i hate most about experiment particularly on genetics. A lot of pipetting, counting and doing things you don't really see. Everything is result-based. you know it's that one coz it shows such result. You know how you get it coz you picture the mechanism without actually seeing it, unlike those practicals involving cells and bacteria or physiology( on our body parts and anatomy). I love these ones better. Even as awkward as watching tape worms swimming around in the petri dish under the microscope. well, at least it's observable... and alive.<br />
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I should remind myself in getting a cup of coffee ready every time i have one of those days with boring lecture or session. i really must. and today's 6 hours session makes me feels like deserving a little treat to myself. I rarely do shopping. even if i did, it is mostly on FOOD. but just to be clear, i enjoyed doing groceries shopping and buying food to be cooked and some cool utensils for baking, never, did i spend so much on take-aways. In fact, I find myself enjoying baking coz it's the closest thing to real life lab practicals that i had. lol<br />
gonna do some shopping tomorrow since it's student night at eldon square. why not.<br />
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Made some new friends today. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. Being the only malay in class is actually good. you make more effort to blend in, to let go of your fright and just open up. One of my friend, Amy, is actually a matured student. She had 3 sons and it seems likely that i can mingle really well with these people. In fact, most of the people i'm closed to in the Malaysian's community (balai Malaysia Ncl) here is postgraduates. i talked on parenting, children, recipes and many more...which sometimes makes me feel bit old. -.-" nope. scratch that. matured.<br />
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I have a very clear picture of what i wanna achieve this semester insyaAllah and few years ahead.<br />
of working. not going home. bringing my parents here. active in societies. go to many more places-alone. make more friends. get the best grades. the list goes on and on.<br />
o yes i'm to embrace my new term here!<br />
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Perhaps nothing will actually turns the way i want it to. But decided to have them ready and on my mind early on.<br />
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xx<br />
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-6639106690313885022014-08-12T08:28:00.001-07:002014-08-12T08:59:12.261-07:00'Akak, saya tak reti. Kalau salah malulah!'<div style="text-align: center;">
12/08/2014 </div>
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Catatan Kem Bahasa Inggeris</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFGQuJVh7CcUCNAKIfW0bF9_iTo-EwrIPUDdJC7XNLHkQ0aGOE0waWuzfklkjb6I7FC0144iFFblyds38rSSy6PIGElzxRqCLr0ZEEHwxHnNdqCLwdXl464UndRtcgCAqj9sMk9WL8AiQ/s1600/vol+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFGQuJVh7CcUCNAKIfW0bF9_iTo-EwrIPUDdJC7XNLHkQ0aGOE0waWuzfklkjb6I7FC0144iFFblyds38rSSy6PIGElzxRqCLr0ZEEHwxHnNdqCLwdXl464UndRtcgCAqj9sMk9WL8AiQ/s1600/vol+1.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: #d5a6bd;"> Nota handmade </span></div>
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Buku 'Easy English' tulisan Pn. Norbi, guru bahasa Inggeris saya suatu ketika dahulu kembali ditelaah. Helaian demi helaian. </div>
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'Ish, susah juga nak pendekkan penerangan basic grammar nih!' keluh diri.</div>
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Tidak tahu mana hujung dan pangkal. Kalau masih ingat pelajaran bahasa Inggeris di bangku sekolah dahulu, ia bukan setakat peraturan atau 'rule' present tense, past tense, past perfect tense dan pelbagai 'tense' yang lain. Ada banyak lagi peraturan2 seperti gerund form, passive voice, atau penggunaan article 'a', 'an' dan 'the'.</div>
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Boleh tahan grammar freak lol.</div>
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... Sebab jatuh hati saya pada bahasa ini bermula dengan grammar, dan barulah seterusnya melalui pembacaan. </div>
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Ada nilai sentimen yang tersendiri. </div>
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Tidak adil untuk mengharapkan anjakan paradigma dalam penguasaan tatabahasa pelajar-pelajar ini dengan hanya pembelajaran tidak sampai sehari. Rome is not built in one day.</div>
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Jadi, saya berfikir mungkin lebih sesuai untuk memberi lebih fokus kepada menilai 'tenses' untuk mereka aplikasikan sekurang-kurangnya di dalam karangan mereka. Berhati-hati saya menjaga tulisan yang (selalunya berangkai dan tidak begitu mudah dibaca) supaya isi/ point2 penting dapat disampaikan dengan jelas. Alhamdulillah! Berjaya menyingkatkan nota grammar kepada satu helai kertas dengan dua muka surat-hand written. Tidak mengambil masa yang lama pun. but, I'm very pleased with myself- hanya salah satu self achievement dalam rekod peribadi. :D</div>
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<span style="background-color: #ea9999;"> Be like a duck, calm on the surface but always paddling like the dickens underneath - Michael Caine</span></div>
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Of course, nowhere close had this short quote described myself. Saya bercakap tentang mereka yang lebih banyak meluangkan masa dan buah fikiran mereka untuk menjayakan program ini walau mungkin tidak dapat menghadirkan diri pada hari tersebut. Yang merangka modul, permainan dan lain-lain. Mastermind untuk bahagian masing-masing. </div>
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Jadi inspirasi. Take it slow and easy. I'll be there.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVkb2uAxdBOgFQQwwzfo2mkI8XiV2zJC_5Uu7U8f_C7TUziQaq5RWH0OKMxCHr5nJiyAtgn4lstNKvnwn-hF0TasXN5AY-7Olq1VzRSmoArUEd9-__HVbaaddUr_UvNCMGPcgtkYEWVZo/s1600/vol+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVkb2uAxdBOgFQQwwzfo2mkI8XiV2zJC_5Uu7U8f_C7TUziQaq5RWH0OKMxCHr5nJiyAtgn4lstNKvnwn-hF0TasXN5AY-7Olq1VzRSmoArUEd9-__HVbaaddUr_UvNCMGPcgtkYEWVZo/s1600/vol+3.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAhVFoW7nUNweEl4R5KmjbBsFOSMOqd5eBXRknHOb-v7H26BRKwF8GRgoXQD1YSqzzciKhxwg1GRqxqNLPx9TvnXvOdQDa3QgG38LjQjI2NVQOm8ocBDtfKDsM_Y8PF0MfK8o0C5k-030/s1600/vol+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAhVFoW7nUNweEl4R5KmjbBsFOSMOqd5eBXRknHOb-v7H26BRKwF8GRgoXQD1YSqzzciKhxwg1GRqxqNLPx9TvnXvOdQDa3QgG38LjQjI2NVQOm8ocBDtfKDsM_Y8PF0MfK8o0C5k-030/s1600/vol+4.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mempelajari beberapa 'vocabulary' dalam bentuk flash card dan menggunakannya <br />
kembali dalam permainan susun silang kata.</td></tr>
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Program diadakan di SMU Tarbiyah Islamiah yang terletak di Chabang 4, Tumpat, Kelantan. Kami terdiri daripada beberapa pelajar daripada UK/EIRE yang masih dalam percutian musim panas dan turut disertai beberapa rakan yang lain. Seorang daripada junior KY , Fatin, yang merupakan bekas</div>
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pelajar di sekolah tersebut, mengusulkan cadangan menjalankan 'Kem Bahasa Inggeris' ini.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDERn4JUwkY0sIsSTrrCamDOIRNuVfHn9T1QjSdcPvEdWAwsylFxBCTUBwDjgca3oQiOA9mNi7pCJp9FKZSsxoX-6ZcoeNpJYT76bkuTHVAt39Eq0CATLGwt6fb5UDj7oid9peoKnLJTU/s1600/vol+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDERn4JUwkY0sIsSTrrCamDOIRNuVfHn9T1QjSdcPvEdWAwsylFxBCTUBwDjgca3oQiOA9mNi7pCJp9FKZSsxoX-6ZcoeNpJYT76bkuTHVAt39Eq0CATLGwt6fb5UDj7oid9peoKnLJTU/s1600/vol+2.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Keseluruhan pelajar berjumlah 85 orang termasuk pelajar tingkatan 2 dan 3. <br />
Mereka dibahagikan kepada 8 buah kumpulan ( 4 group lelaki dan 4 group perempuan)</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #93c47d;"> Malu bertanya, sesat jalan. Malu berbicara, rugi pelajaran. </span> </div>
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'Akak, saya tak reti. Kalau salah malulah!' kata salah seorang pelajar. </div>
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Wajahnya cuak sungguh. Seperti baru berbuat kesalahan lagaknya mati-mati tidak mahu kedepan. Kelihatan pelajar-pelajar (muslimat) yang lain ada yang tunduk ke lantai, ada yang sibuk membelek helaian nota, ada yang bertukar pandangan sesama mereka sambil berkata 'Eh, kaulah,' dan tak kurang yang berani bertentang mata sambil berbisik dari jauh 'jangan saya ya kak!'</div>
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Oleh kerana golongan pelajar perempuan kelihatan lebih pasif, fasilitator diarah untuk memilih secara rawak sahaja sesiapa yang berkenan di hati untuk secara paksa rela tampil kehadapan. Permainan 'sudopardy' yang merupakan gabungan antara 'sudoku' dan 'jeopardy' menghiburkan mereka pada satu slot program. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu-jrQwv90FOHNz2cbjJO8HPXjoho_5N5VfOJ4b1VEKgZi4uhw9Fk3uZojxcik8mXMxIjXg5DBo2sdWuSPTBsMGI-WVm-1AY8JExrRUhHCMgmyep6U_Ytd6uLd-09p3wPsY6DrBMYnTN0/s1600/vol+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu-jrQwv90FOHNz2cbjJO8HPXjoho_5N5VfOJ4b1VEKgZi4uhw9Fk3uZojxcik8mXMxIjXg5DBo2sdWuSPTBsMGI-WVm-1AY8JExrRUhHCMgmyep6U_Ytd6uLd-09p3wPsY6DrBMYnTN0/s1600/vol+5.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kepada yang berani tampil kehadapan, mereka diberi hadiah khas yang disediakan pihak fasilitator.</td></tr>
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Salah satu task yang perlu dibuat ialah 'read it out aloud' selain perlu menjawab soalan yang tertera di slide di hadapan mereka. </div>
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I've been there before. Memang untuk keluar berdiri dan bercakap di hadapan sekalipun, bukan sama cabarannya terasa bagi setiap orang. Betulkah pronunciation? Apa yang rakan-rakanku fikir-terhegeh-hegeh ingin berbahasa asing ( retok botol budu ore kato)? Bagaimana kalau jawapan yang diberi itu salah? Aduh, malu!</div>
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Tapi, the only way to break away from the cycle is by simply freeing yourself from what people think of. I can never forget the way KY give a difference in my life.</div>
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Sejak dari mula belajar, hatta dari peringkat pra-sekolah hinggalah sekolah menengah, tidak sekali pun pernah keluar dari kelantan dan saya belajar di sekolah yang 'biasa-biasa' sahaja (bukan mrsm/sbp). </div>
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The way I interact with people is different. </div>
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The way I thought how people supposed to -and must have, act is also different. </div>
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Hence, even the first few month before getting to KY,</div>
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I find how different they could be from my forever built perception in my head, half meeting these people through social media bila masuk group fb Ky and getting pranks or harsh comments for pure innocence. And that dreadful orientation week. Adakah mereka tidak memikirkan sesetengah golongan yang lain bila mereka decide untuk buat sesuatu perkara? I'm sorry ini agak off topic. But, I have to take a few step back so I can walk again at that moment. Bukan semua orang biasa dengan secara tiba-tiba orang di sekitar mereka converse in BI, bukan semua orang boleh faham bila akak2 abang2 sentiasa nak marah dan tak compassionate di hari2 pertama di tempat baharu (konon tradisi) , atau prank tak berkesudahan dan permintaan2 tak rasional seperti menyanyi di dewan makan. Mungkin biasa bagi setengah orang-even majoriti, tapi bukan semua. Mungkin ada yang rasa sangat terseksa dan the only choice they have is to hold on. Nak mengadu kat parents? buat risau mereka kat kampung je. Nak tukar study kat lain? We come sponsored remember? </div>
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So, I decided to get into Student Council. At least, I'll be that person who'll recognised these people and act the way I wish people would at that time. </div>
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I can't even believe myself to have ever been on that great hall's stage giving my manifesto.</div>
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My English at that time is fairly good but I'm not used to impromtu question and answer session, what not, in front of that many people- some, I'm scared of.</div>
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But, that is also my first step of freeing myself from what people thought of. Albeit, very insignificance to many people. To me, it is a huge leap. Tergagap-gagap nak menjawab soalan pasal religion-wise pulak tuh as I was a candidate for religious exco (note : not catering muslims only). Being in Kelantan, honestly, kat ky is the first time I ever have Indian and Chinese friends.</div>
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Kalaulah malu yang nak difikirkan, saya mungkin tak akan pernah belajar.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">'Kalau kita malu untuk buat salah, kita tak akan tahu apa yang betul.'</span></div>
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Itu pesanan saya buat mereka. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsK3-QYoLRdIfe_HlM6RjYGZ-7kSNUhuNgP13YlH51Mir9ZzBRZux6aN9eLHIr1P90NaDOa76M2X2ViSX_ntXTdAvaj0F_eXatt-CD9D8ovrmkaRRGRI8wno_R9-aH54SJY8yf7g4FCEU/s1600/vol+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsK3-QYoLRdIfe_HlM6RjYGZ-7kSNUhuNgP13YlH51Mir9ZzBRZux6aN9eLHIr1P90NaDOa76M2X2ViSX_ntXTdAvaj0F_eXatt-CD9D8ovrmkaRRGRI8wno_R9-aH54SJY8yf7g4FCEU/s1600/vol+6.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My group. Berjuruh belako :')</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: #f6b26b;"> Impian melangit di awan sana </span></div>
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Para fasilitator berkumpul untuk memilih buku skrap yang paling menarik. Bersungguh-sungguh mereka menampal huruf-huruf daripada keratan akhbar dan gambar-gambar berkaitan. Ayat-ayat disusun rapi. Sekali-sekala bertanya maksud sesuatu perkataan dalam bahasa inggeris. Ada yang membelek kamus dwibahasa.</div>
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Topik yang diberi untuk setiap kumpulan ialah berbeza. Boleh jadi perihal 'our favourite past time', 'into the jungle', banyak lagi yang lain atau yang satu ini- 'Our dreams'.</div>
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'My dream is to travel around the world by my own ship'</div>
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'My dream is...'</div>
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'One day, I will ..'</div>
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Membaca coretan mereka, dan melihat kepingan gambar2 yang disusun atas lembar kertas sangat menyejukkan jiwa dan membenihkan harapan.</div>
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Truly, the sky is the limit. </div>
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Semoga cita-cita mereka tercapai suatu masa nanti.</div>
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Di akhir program, kami disapa teacher mereka. </div>
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Begitu murah dengan senyuman. </div>
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'Tahun hadapan datanglah lagi bersama-sama pelajar di sini,' ujar beliau.</div>
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Diam melayan perasaan.</div>
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kalau ada sumur di ladang,</div>
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boleh kita menumpang mandi,</div>
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kalau ada umur yang panjang,</div>
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boleh kita bertemu lagi.</div>
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xxx</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-73350791986998803322014-08-11T02:05:00.002-07:002014-08-11T02:32:36.726-07:00Catatan Cuti Musim Panas 2014<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: #ea9999;"> Debaran </span></div>
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Hampir satu tahun berada di Newcastle. Jauhnya beribu-ribu batu dari kampung halaman. Khabar berita dari rumah hanya hinggap di cuping telinga melalui wadah teknologi 'Skype' ataupun bertukar pesanan melalui Whatsapp. Kalau dulu umi dan abah tidak pernah pun ambil pusing mengenai medan sosial di alam maya, sekarang mereka mungkin sudah jauh lebih arif. </div>
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' Berdebarlah umi.' </div>
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Sepotong ayat saya susun berhati-hati di ruang balas 'whatsapp'. Tidak mahu memberi tanggapan yang bukan-bukan. Emoticon konon comel bercucuran air mata ditambah di hujung ayat.</div>
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'seen'</div>
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Saya teruskan melipat kain baju untuk disusun satu persatu di dalam bagasi. Hanya sehelai dua baju sendiri yang ingin dibawa pulang. Selebihnya ialah hadiah, selonggok bar coklat ALDI dan pakaian baharu yang dibeli untuk ahli keluarga, juga beberapa buah periuk atau kuali leper berjenama Tefal. Rumah yang diduduki dalam masa lebih kurang 10 bulan kini kosong. Kembali lengang. Terimbau saat mula-mula memasuki rumah ini sebagai 'freshers'. Ulfah dan Farah sudah kembali ke Malaysia. Hanya tinggal saya dan Azie untuk mengucapkan selamat tinggal kepada segala kenangan yang kami bina disini dalam tahun pertama pengajian.</div>
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'Maassalamah' </div>
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Selamat tinggal Newcastle! Hanya untuk seberapa ketika sebelum kita ketemu kembali!</div>
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'Wa ilal liqa' '</div>
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Semoga kita berjumpa lagi.</div>
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Masih banyak pengalaman yang ingin saya cedok dari lubuk tarbiyah ini.</div>
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Dendangan bait-bait lagu 'Bila Waktu Telah Berakhir' oleh Opick memecah kesunyian dan menyentak diri daripada lamunan yang berpanjangan.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: left;">Bagaimanakah bila saatnya</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: left;">Waktu terhenti tak kau sadari</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: left;">Masikah ada jalan bagimu untuk kembali</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: left;">Mengulangkan masa lalu</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: left;" />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: left;">Dunia dipenuhi dengan hiasan</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: left;">Semua dan segala yg ada akan</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20.799999237060547px; text-align: left;">Kembali padaNya</span></div>
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Rupanya panggilan telefon daripada rakan sekelas saya yang berasal daripada Hong Kong. Ceria suaranya kedengaran di corong telefon, mengucapkan selamat menikmati cuti di samping keluarga. Terharu sungguh! Masih ingatkah dia dalam perbualan bersahaja kami, bila saya mengutarakan kebahagiaan saya ingin pulang lagi dua minggu ke tanah tumpah darahku-Malaysia?</div>
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Mengingati perkara-perkara kecil seperti tarikh lahir, peperiksaan yang dihadapi atau pun masa bermusafir rakan-rakan terdekat memudahkan kita untuk menjadi manusia yang prihatin. Memberi hadiah, mengucapkan 'tahniah' , 'selamat berjaya'. </div>
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<span style="background-color: #ffd966;">Kind words worth much and cost a little.</span></div>
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Ini bahkan menjadi salah satu daripada kelemahan yang ingin diperbaiki oleh saya sendiri. Menjadi cakna kepada butir- butir kecil sebegini mungkin bukan dalam sifat semula jadi saya sebagai seorang yang 'sanguine'- dalam istilah psikologinya. Apatah lagi dalam mengingati nombor dan sebagainya. Namun ada gunanya memanfaatkan hobi suka menulis dengan mencatat perkara-perkara yang kita tidak mahu luput dalam ingatan.</div>
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****</div>
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' Along nak berdebar kenapa pula? Umi doakan yang baik-baik. Semoga cepat-cepat boleh bersama-sama kami semula!' balas umi setelah sekian lama menyepi.</div>
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'Hehe. InsyaAllah2!' jawab saya ingin mengubah kembali 'mood' perbualan kami.</div>
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Perbualan terhenti di situ. Kalau diikutkan sudah jauh lewat malam di tanah air. Musim panas di UK kadang-kadang membuat diri rasa masa itu bergerak maha lambat. Merangkak-rangkak menunggu hari seterusnya untuk kunjung tiba. Mungkin kerana masa siangnya yang hampir 21 jam. Mungkin.</div>
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Aneh debaran ini!</div>
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Kerana bukan dek gerun ingin menaiki pesawat Boeng triple 7 gara-gara musibah MH370, atau resah menanti 'jetlag' sesudah tiba. Jauh sekali.</div>
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<span style="background-color: #9fc5e8;">Expectation.</span> </div>
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'Without expectation, there will be no disappointment'</div>
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Ini kerisauan saya yang sebenar.</div>
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Janji-janji untuk pulang dan berbakti.</div>
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'Tak lama lagi bolehlah umi rasa masakan along.'</div>
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'Bulan puasa ini, boleh temankan ummi abah ke masjid.'</div>
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'goyang kakilah umi kali ini'</div>
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Meletakkan hak-hak ini di tempat yang sepatutnya. Melangsaikan hutang-hutang keringat untuk mereka yang menuntut.</div>
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Hakikatnya cuti yang ada mungkin perlu dibahagi-bahagi antara keluarga,jamaah masyarakat umumnya, rakan-rakan dan diri sendiri.</div>
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Alhamdulillah detik ini, susuk ini sudah berada di samping keluarga. Namun ternyata telahan saya benar. Satu pertiga daripada Ramadan terpaksa saya luangkan dalam musafir melunaskan hak yang ada pada tanggungjawab di kolej lama dan sebagainya. Dan masih ada tarikh-tarikh yang tercatat untuk saya ikuti program2 volunteering. Naudzubillah daripada sebarang lemparan perasaan dalam hati ini untuk merasa diri ini tersangat sibuk padahal saya masih boleh berjalan-jalan sekitar penang baru-baru ini, keluar bersama teman-teman dan menikmati cuti selayaknya muda-mudi tengah bercuti. Cuma yang ingin saya tekankan ialah bagaimana ingin mengimbangi perhatian dan tumpuan kita? Saya mohon dijauhkan daripada rasa terkilan ahli keluarga bila selalu keluar rumah walhal anak mereka yang sudah lama tidak pulang ke rumah ini begitu mereka harapkan/ 'expect' untuk senantiasa berada di depan mata mereka. </div>
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This expectation. I fear.</div>
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Oleh sebab itu. Laju saya menjelaskan kepada keluarga niat ingin jadikan cuti ini lebih produktif. Beritahu awal-awal program-program yang nak disertai. Yang terpenting, make yourself at home- when you are. Jangan sampai langsung tiada beza keberadaan kita di rumah, baik dari segi beban kerja atau kualiti masa yang diluangkan bersama ahli keluarga. Ambil peluang untuk berbual. Sebenarnya banyak yang ingin mereka kongsikan sepanjang ketiadaan kita.<br />
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Teringat sewaktu menelusuri hari-hari di Kolej Yasasan UEM (kyuem), kebanyakan panggilan telefon ke rumah menyaksikan diri ini membuat keputusan untuk lebih banyak berdiam diri daripada bayak bercakap meluahkan resah di hati dan lebih banyak <span style="font-size: large;">mendengar </span>walau rasa ingin berkongsi. I guess this is one of the character possessed by the first child in the family. Banyak memendam. Sebab terkadang meluahkan resah gelisah lantaran permasalahan yang dihadapi mungkin tidak membawa apa-apa penyelesaian melainkan menimbulkan kerisauan orang-orang yang kita sayangi. Jadi, selalunya perbualan telefon itu akan diakhiri dengan pintaan doa daripada mereka. Moga-moga masalah saya terlerai dan diberi jalan keluar.<br />
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****<br />
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This little girl has never changed a bit. I've grown matured and may not sound like who i used to be, or act the way I ever did before. But, I'm forever your daughter.<br />
May Allah bless them both, and grant them Jannah.</div>
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Cuti masih berbaki dalam lebih kurang 4 minggu.</div>
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Alangkah!</div>
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xx</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-64193077415894212252014-06-01T12:38:00.002-07:002014-06-01T12:38:33.726-07:00Marriage ain't trivial matter.<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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Yesterday, a neighbour of mine came over to our house to pass on some food they made at home.. After some time catching up with each other, such good new we received that she's getting married this summer. She's 23 y/o this year. My teaching partner, my usrahmate and a really good friend. I was genuinely happy for her.</div>
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Semoga Allah permudahkan everything girl. InsyaAllah. </div>
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I have a plan too-though missing the big part of it ( that's His job).</div>
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Work on what you can at this point. Dig up for knowledge and make yourself better muslim and human being generally (as member of society).</div>
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Why would people always put this into some kind of a joke when the idea get passed around? Why people would actually tease when it's actually a big part of our deen.... big enough to be given serious thought to at the very early stage?</div>
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I feel that it is not a trivial matter. </div>
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As much as I'm putting plans to getting my degree and passing my exam to get into schools, this is just part of my future that needs to be well-planned and given adequate attention. </div>
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hmmm</div>
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***</div>
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Final paper lusa ni insyaAllah. Physiology. k, sambung study.</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-31198613229027653932014-05-23T09:01:00.003-07:002014-05-23T09:11:14.693-07:00Facebook, chocolate ganache dan kuah sate.<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah.</div>
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I remember few times having 'friend requests' from my little brother's friends . They are all at his age, or sometimes younger. My brother, Hariz is currently eleven years old and had been very active both in academic and sports. Well, equally active in messing with his sister at home of course.</div>
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'My sweet, little monster,' I call him.</div>
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So, I was relatively not busy the other day that I ended up (somehow) stalking his friends. I later find myself deeply intrigued by the reality of his generation. Just as you thought that the sight of little toddlers swiping ipad's screen at all times is worrying, wait till you find how these children's life are affected by social network consumption-and it made you <span style="font-size: large;">reflect</span> back to yourself, really.</div>
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I was always keen on the idea that any forms of gadgets or even internet should never be introduced to children at such tender age when they are supposed to play outside, under the sun and of around the bush and muds. Children nowadays can easily be entertained by gadgets. Put them in a corner with a smart phone or tablet, and they'll remain quiet and attentive. Have we all gone far from those days, where a mother would have had hard time keeping the house neat and tidy? when she got 2 to 3 kids filled with pure enthusiasm and ridiculously high energy, jumping around the house and scattering their toys on the floor. I'm not trying to say that there's less kinda similar things experienced by mothers today, i mean, kids are kids. they are expert in messing the whole house anyway.</div>
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<span style="color: #76a5af;">'kanak-kanak merengek pinta masa bermain di luar rumah. Itu- lebih aku sukai daripada teriak mengamuk ingin menghadap skrin komputer melayan permainan virtual.'</span></div>
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***</div>
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Pulling out a 'duck-face' selfie, pouting, as her hand adjusted her tudung. This sweet little girl in her school uniform posed in a photo uploaded few hours before. Already gaining it's hundred likers. Scrolling down few statuses and thinking that this must be, in science, you called as anomalies-not in normal distribution of children's behaviour, right? Then you clicked on another facebook profile, a boy aged 9. His latest status says ' in relationship with xxx -feeling loved.'. I repeat, aged 9.</div>
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really? </div>
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so I end up clicking on xxx 's profile and am further confused when her dp is an image of his 'boyfriend' instead. Manifestation of love?</div>
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***</div>
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At this point I made a solemn reminder at the back of my head not to let this happen to my siblings/family in the future. Reflecting to how I've been using this powerful social media , investigating to how long am I spending time on them, or how public my life was-in terms of pictures, statuses- equally in fb or instagram, was rather ... eye-opening. </div>
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*Made me put down some old photos. put on a much private setting. limit my time-spent, on scrolling the timeline etc. </div>
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It's just one of those things worth-reflecting and given some thought onto.</div>
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On a totally different note, I woke up this morning feeling super hungry. and in this very week of musim meroyan sedunia, I made some Chocolate Ganache cupcakes and kuah satay to be eaten with nasi impit.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq-NlbwTvEKrdcrLpuX8mehWLQLx6hMaRStRe4OrzNpVInB3U4WsBdRrkDiTsEmK3hf1tEM7HPf7Z8aJVHNkGXx7tVcxHzRhVWYWysPKU9KNhLz-wk-GITTR93aQOS51TfyUbwrSBCQec/s1600/choc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq-NlbwTvEKrdcrLpuX8mehWLQLx6hMaRStRe4OrzNpVInB3U4WsBdRrkDiTsEmK3hf1tEM7HPf7Z8aJVHNkGXx7tVcxHzRhVWYWysPKU9KNhLz-wk-GITTR93aQOS51TfyUbwrSBCQec/s1600/choc.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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Chocolate ganache:</div>
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2 cups of double cream<br />
3 cups of dark chocolates<br />
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stir double cream on low heat until it simmers and turn off the stove. Put it the chunks of chocolate and stir in until they mix well.<br />
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there's two types of ganache- differ by their use as frosting/icing or coating.<br />
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1) Coating<br />
They are smooth and runny when it's still warm and get's thinker by time. You can choose which consistency you like most, by using them immediately after mixing (eg dipping strawberries) or after few minutes in the fridge ( coating cakes/ cookies).<br />
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2) frosting/ icing.<br />
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Double cream are like whipping cream. After it is cooled, whip them with a mixer and the dark brown tone will turn slightly paler as they become smooth and stiffer. Fill up your piping bag with this one. (eg cupcakes topping)<br />
* i just used the usual buttercream chocolate batter for the cupcakes.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP7op9KqDqSc-DX48UYv1-1MW13t5lpH8NDAGsWRCndrP-9uDc4JicXqgFvUwvF-lgYcvM-WzzLPA02UH2CYIHuxuADNROKz0HzyaKh1RYXv7wjHWdms28YS0O4PtsanN6Ybi2zSaAD9c/s1600/sate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP7op9KqDqSc-DX48UYv1-1MW13t5lpH8NDAGsWRCndrP-9uDc4JicXqgFvUwvF-lgYcvM-WzzLPA02UH2CYIHuxuADNROKz0HzyaKh1RYXv7wjHWdms28YS0O4PtsanN6Ybi2zSaAD9c/s1600/sate.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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Kuah satay</div>
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This is rather random. </div>
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you need..</div>
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-1 cup of cooking oil</div>
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-2 cups of ground nut/ peanut</div>
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-1 1/2 red onion (uk size)*kalau kecik2 cm malaysia around 6 ulas? (mayang halus)</div>
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-gula melaka ( i substitute with muscovado/ molasses brown sugar- sumpah rasa sama)</div>
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-salt</div>
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-1/2 cup dried chilli (blended)</div>
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dry fry the peanuts. buang kulit and blend them(jangan ah hancur ngat).</div>
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panaskan minyak. tumis bawang sampai naik bau. pour in blended lada kering. kacau sampai pecah minyak. then add in the blended peanuts. add sugars and salt when it starts to boil up.</div>
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senang oh.</div>
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xx</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-5413389518817958422014-05-05T15:08:00.001-07:002015-07-19T17:13:12.275-07:00ISOC Intensive Marriage Course ( PART 1)<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah.</div>
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I woke up this morning thinking that I might as well stay home and continue my revision. Why bother too much on going to this course when the idea of marriage is nothing near, just yet. On a side note, I was actually quite curious of what this course is offering and how exactly they differ from those course we have to take back home. To be honest, I was rather skeptical about going to any marriage course before, since people keep saying that there's too much jokes deliberately made to brighten up the moods than there is for serious discussion or great focus on many other important aspect. (so i heard). To be fair, I believe this is not true for all of the marriage course out there. Kak Su was on her way to my house since we've made a plan to go there together by 8.30 am, so, i can't simply say no. We decided to just grab a cab for none of us are very sure of where exactly is the location of the venue. </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">Intensive</span><span style="font-size: large;"> Marriage Course.</span></div>
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As the name suggest, it was intensive. Given that this is my first time attending such program, I don't really have a clue on what to expect. Now that I'm home. I'm literally am brain-drained having to sit and listen to the talks throughout the day. non-stop. Nevertheless, I thought to myself that if I were to spend my hours here today, I should have made it counted. This is my tiniest effort to put together what I basically gain today in words InsyaAllah! (if not all, some jewels)<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>1. INTRODUCTION OF MARRIAGE</b></span><br />
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The first part of the course introduce the concept of marriage.<br />
It was very interesting to have a speaker who is also a psychologist , expert in marriage and relationship counselling and psycho-sexual counselling. I was very fond of psychology myself so, having heard some familiar theories and concept is simply reminiscing those A level years of studying them. <br />
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He started by a simple statement that says;<br />
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<span style="color: #a64d79;">'In marriage, things will only get better and better. It's all about working hard, fundamentally in trying to understand each other and acknowledging the ultimate purpose of your marriage-which is, to fulfill the purpose of our existence (as abid and khalifah)'</span><br />
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Marriage as we all know is one of the biggest ibadah. It is an essential framework for you to work together, with your partner, in terms of achieving this goals. And this include, our daily basis worships, character building as a muslim and our self development.<br />
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What is the difference between the conceptual marriage and Islamic ones?<br />
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<span style="color: #351c75;">'While the mainstream, socially understood concept of marriage is about finding your <span style="font-size: large;">other half</span>, islamic marriage is all about completing <span style="font-size: large;">half of your deen</span>.'</span><br />
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To be able to achieve sakinah, mawaddah warahmah in a family institution, it is ideally important to acknowledge that men and women are simple DIFFERENT. We are not the same- in terms of our nature, physical, psychological and capability. Trying to change a woman for what she is won't work and vice versa. Celebrating the difference is one of the key foundation.<br />
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and you simply don't stop just there. Men are associated with rationality as women are for emotions. Put some effort in trying to catch up with each other as well. For example, a husband should learn to acquire emotional intelligence in marriage. So that he'll be able to make every decision based on a wider perspective and consideration, rather than just practicality of it.<br />
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Marriage is about mutuality, but that does no mean that both individuals are the same.<br />
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<strike>Behind every successful man, is a woman.</strike><br />
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Beside every successful man, is a woman.<br />
They compliment each other. Aspiring one another. Letting the other half grow even more.<br />
He mentioned about how marriage is actually the closest relationship you can ever have between two people, unlike parent-children or bftj (best friend till jannah) relationship. It is of different affection, closeness and responsibility. You really know what each other really are- and this is very important to take note.<br />
The fact that you have that level of intimacy, has made <span style="font-size: large;">trust and respect</span> as a golden element in a healthy relationship. There would be a LOT of things that none others but only you know about your spouse. Hence, losing one or both of these qualities will no longer make you garments for one another.<br />
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<i style="background-color: #fce5cd;"><span style="font-size: large;">'</span>the boomerang effect'</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7_dajyjVCg5aOr2tpDGEs-1fb39TBiknZaAOJF95kTfPW8sxU8SwLazVY9quZ5O0FKQ812ECy9VwLHLKXnx0TiQlkWYw8nQHHdpQSOCVrAgI28JrueaNVS4HePXIlpShysnq0AuQkph0/s1600/boom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7_dajyjVCg5aOr2tpDGEs-1fb39TBiknZaAOJF95kTfPW8sxU8SwLazVY9quZ5O0FKQ812ECy9VwLHLKXnx0TiQlkWYw8nQHHdpQSOCVrAgI28JrueaNVS4HePXIlpShysnq0AuQkph0/s1600/boom.jpg" /></a></div>
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You are the mirror of one another. If you behave in certain way, those qualities reflect back at you. This is an 'action reaction' mechanism. I was fascinated by a simple analogy given called 'marriage bank account'. you've got debit and credit column. If you do something that add value to you marriage/ to your partner, that's going into your account. When you demand or take something out from your spouse, that is using up your savings. and this two must be balanced. Taking out too much while giving so little will result in overdraft.<br />
and each actions cost differently. For example, fidelity might empty your account that no amount of chocolate/ roses can make up the loss.<br />
Always make sure you do things that levels them up every single time.<br />
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<span style="color: #38761d;">' why take when you don't give. Happiness in marriage is often achieved when you expect yourself to give rather than receiving'</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #ead1dc;">When does preparation and training actually start?</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"> It started from childhood, primarily from observing your parents. how they behave to one another. how you are brought up. the 'biah solehah' or the islamic environment of your house. things like that. You don't have to be in the most perfect family to benefit from this, because lessons come from both positive and negative behaviours . If you see something bad in the way you are brought up with, change it. The same goes when you see something good, try to follow their example. Make it your benchmark. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #ffd966;">When is the appropriate age to start marriage?</span><br />
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This part receives much attention from the speaker, stressing on and on about the idea of not delaying nikah. He had been dealing with taaruf of sisters and brothers from all over UK, and one of the problem that arises (for the sisters particularly) is the fact that they only initiate taaruf or the process of finding a spouse when they are in their late 20s or early 30s., sometimes more. And yet they still put high emphasize on many high criteria such as wanting a guy of around the same age-not married, single and without children as an example.This problem lies in career driven individuals or academic achiever that they put nikah as their last priority.<br />
Much to the complaints of the brothers on the other hand is that they do not have the financial stability just yet to be able to build a family (one of most wanted criteria for sister in seeking partner) , the speaker goes like this; (while addressing the sisters)<br />
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<span style="color: #38761d;">'Should you marry a guy who does not have a financial stability just yet?'</span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #38761d;">'Yes, absolutely! Provided that he has aspiration, career plans and a clear goal to achieve in his life'</span><br />
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So conclusion, as early as possible. (not subject to personal view)<br />
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***<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>2. THE SUNNAH OF MARRIAGE</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d;"><br /></span>
Rasulullah pbuh has divided his time to three.<br />
1/3 for himself<br />
1/3 for the general society<br />
1/3 for family/married life<br />
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The western had been promoting the life-work balance concept but largely (if not all) failed to exercise it in their life. Instead life is much of a manifestation of materialism, sacrificing family for career and so on.<br />
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Rasulullah pbuh is ideally the best example of a husband.<br />
He has children but is also a guardian of other children as well. He treated them a if they are his. (from marrying a married woman).<br />
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He never failed to come back home every single day with a smiling face.<br />
One of the act in marriage is to brighten each other's day. And our prophet, despite being a busy man, always help his wife with house chores.<br />
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The speaker added, 'never make your son a mummy's boy- in the sense that they expect everything from their mum.(later from his wife). Make him a strong boy who values what people do for him and tries to help along.'<br />
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He reminded the audience,<br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">' a wife is not obligated to cook or clean for her husband. Everything she does is actually sadaqa/charity'</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #ea9999;">Key foundation to marriage according to sunnah</span><br />
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- the foundation of the marriage/ family built must be based on knowledge, ultimately from Al Quran and Sunnah.<br />
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-Ar Rahim or mercy. Have compassion and mercy to the bearer of your children, your life long companion, mother of your children and the one who take care of your affairs at home.<br />
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-Love. Let love grows by watching out your words, actions and showing your affections.<br />
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-Justice. Rasulullah pbuh is never dzalim. recognize each other's right.<br />
when you have injustice, you cannot have mercy.<br />
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-Syura. Communication is vital. Exercise active listening.<br />
Listening is not simply making sure your partner made her/his point across.<br />
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-Looking good for one another.<br />
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***<br />
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So that is two of the main topic discussed. i'll find some other time to write the rest insyaAllah.<br />
May it brings benefit to us all, if not now- in the future.<br />
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-7307391171162275192014-05-04T15:29:00.000-07:002014-05-04T15:46:11.812-07:00Teacher's Outing 2014 (Lake District)<div style="text-align: center;">
Assalamualaikum people.</div>
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Bismillah.</div>
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So this so-called blog of mine has been left abandoned for ages now. Haven't got the drive to actually start writing something for the past few months. I grew tired of starting up my old lap top and having them refreshed every 10 to 15 minutes. I must not offend my dear lap top or it'll buat hal lagi. Hence, this- in the end, had made me a terribly long-statuses writer in my facebook lately. I actually becomes used to typing long stories, and essay (i presumed others see)- that I usually share here. Oh, what have I become?</div>
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And to be honest. I find myself being more comfortable to write in Bahasa Melayu. I used to only write in English before. I believe the spring has somewhat turns me into a poetic soul as well. I keep longing to write </div>
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in certain way, that, I swear I never did before. I'm a keen reader once-of both malay and english books. So I kinda have the idea of the way you should write, plot and put things into places. But never did I feel so sure anyway of my writing. I'm sure if the right person is </div>
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to go through it, they'll be agitated just by loads of kesalahan tatabahasa I might commit. I don't know. Too often, I just let out what I literally have in my mind. You know. That's what I love most about words. About writings. I can foresee the kind of person you are from your thoughts and the way you carefully put it down on paper, perhaps so elegantly, enchantingly, clumsily, and somewhat uniquely. </div>
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That's it. differently.</div>
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I always feel like I can express myself better if I were to write about it rather than to actually talk about it to someone.</div>
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you won't understand.</div>
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anyway,</div>
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Yesterday was another remarkably happy day. Alhamdulillah wa astaghfirullah. </div>
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we have a trip to Lake District. It's actually the Teacher's outing. Remember about the volunteering that i did before, with teaching children here. fardhu ain and bahasa melayu lesson. so yesterday, was sort of a treat from Balai Malaysia Newcastle. The scenery was amazing and it was my first time ever actually handling the wheels of a motor boat. dude, how could you entrust us with such random thing like 'okay, you can start off now. please avoid the shore' thingy when some of us don't event own a driving licence? lol<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7u0pi9CI7zfsqpPRf5VrpvTE1VQHvvHRFa-3OQ71oEbPJfBUeexwybXRQRHW4CRuwgEWzL6rqS2OKGHo7nh9C31byEQXGTj6nHwDJpgQnz_hMI_IrzR8BZKYdojBFUBa1A4cCnv7DLKA/s1600/lake+district+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7u0pi9CI7zfsqpPRf5VrpvTE1VQHvvHRFa-3OQ71oEbPJfBUeexwybXRQRHW4CRuwgEWzL6rqS2OKGHo7nh9C31byEQXGTj6nHwDJpgQnz_hMI_IrzR8BZKYdojBFUBa1A4cCnv7DLKA/s1600/lake+district+3.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we actually got lost while searching for a decent place to pray jamaah for zuhur and asr. Climbing up some random pagar and we end up trespassing another field with sheeps. they are just too adorable. and we didnt even realise that we are not allowed to be there in the first place. oh phewh such chaos we've caused trying to get pictures with the sheeps. i wonder what would they (the sheeps) thought of us, 'obsessed weird creatures'?</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-mpViPSfRC8bdBBTi8i7-_5rvU574rRcmvi-OOcd5d9aBqnguVVQrymHR4XRh8bnzjjun7MfDdlY8Yw9m8n0slmnsw8nevICTQV_ZNC-SgCBcV9lRFQgAtC0netx4ZguInLvdpHPnwsI/s1600/lake+district+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-mpViPSfRC8bdBBTi8i7-_5rvU574rRcmvi-OOcd5d9aBqnguVVQrymHR4XRh8bnzjjun7MfDdlY8Yw9m8n0slmnsw8nevICTQV_ZNC-SgCBcV9lRFQgAtC0netx4ZguInLvdpHPnwsI/s1600/lake+district+4.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">see. it's literally ; 'the road not taken'. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFYVQSLxkQinxztAu5E1gMqgtjkgVYYhdTybhy_AomiLlajhZFMZFwBiA_tKdkdbg96fbzudOSnnG4K8OlxlGYmEG3b7Yv3PtgIhiM3PLOKY5qzI8Oo6hmIPqlOcwQDz1Op9g80rbW0_g/s1600/lake+district+5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFYVQSLxkQinxztAu5E1gMqgtjkgVYYhdTybhy_AomiLlajhZFMZFwBiA_tKdkdbg96fbzudOSnnG4K8OlxlGYmEG3b7Yv3PtgIhiM3PLOKY5qzI8Oo6hmIPqlOcwQDz1Op9g80rbW0_g/s1600/lake+district+5.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">oh well. we had fun!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAPcDOmjkev9RCMoty4I9lj6w9GwhOB-bFnSiqziusTJdjQNS1Ysv3-HldW6BjMNc5UgnRhV9DeuSeslOKrRUeahgER5V4XwuAfaKIM25NLf95PEaLQbL-CL1zy6OfNycbHr3Ny4NBsy4/s1600/lake+district+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAPcDOmjkev9RCMoty4I9lj6w9GwhOB-bFnSiqziusTJdjQNS1Ysv3-HldW6BjMNc5UgnRhV9DeuSeslOKrRUeahgER5V4XwuAfaKIM25NLf95PEaLQbL-CL1zy6OfNycbHr3Ny4NBsy4/s1600/lake+district+6.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">talking about the motor boat. I actually drive em like a boss. ceh padahal senang je :P</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF8xX_ooZgn_0bDTfCbPjKHH5PUc06NR1mxg9WrD1-IbHsvJLJEEAEFJ7gdw2JzmeuS9FfuCAowaFNtkoMeXKW1jt8Ja1N7AZSQkPksps2hh303eqXLRtFL57ZDmTQ4zwwKwj8VxdAmMQ/s1600/lake+district+7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgF8xX_ooZgn_0bDTfCbPjKHH5PUc06NR1mxg9WrD1-IbHsvJLJEEAEFJ7gdw2JzmeuS9FfuCAowaFNtkoMeXKW1jt8Ja1N7AZSQkPksps2hh303eqXLRtFL57ZDmTQ4zwwKwj8VxdAmMQ/s1600/lake+district+7.jpg" height="400" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">our priceless reaction to the fact that we have to drive the boat ourselves. everyone is seated. but the driver's seat was empty as you can see.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnV_ypd9ZcXSE9lrKsfJYzDefCmPcTQH0DyRgZVK3d3akIRI63xiPwXnSxdabWX5YPFesryNTVdYgbtF4s1PgKKfp2H1KxFjPQqqlf6WfBaI_TntdjLFPD8LH_3rTFXpPKI12i13FjfZA/s1600/lake+district+8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnV_ypd9ZcXSE9lrKsfJYzDefCmPcTQH0DyRgZVK3d3akIRI63xiPwXnSxdabWX5YPFesryNTVdYgbtF4s1PgKKfp2H1KxFjPQqqlf6WfBaI_TntdjLFPD8LH_3rTFXpPKI12i13FjfZA/s1600/lake+district+8.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">muka excited.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX8NaP4g6MpV-xnJLBFKy_TKDSt2kDCXCs2cQ8k_q7PSbJTJZhBtN8xAq5lHv9U_Dl6Io4UFsNRWgOamWa0F88OL0teTOnBhe7EJ8Q41XsKa4luk4TeM5zf3IFShMDgovGWx8E9qQ3H78/s1600/lake+district+9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX8NaP4g6MpV-xnJLBFKy_TKDSt2kDCXCs2cQ8k_q7PSbJTJZhBtN8xAq5lHv9U_Dl6Io4UFsNRWgOamWa0F88OL0teTOnBhe7EJ8Q41XsKa4luk4TeM5zf3IFShMDgovGWx8E9qQ3H78/s1600/lake+district+9.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">disinilah bermula kesesatan tuh. bad move.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9lDrctSjL6gBTzwc7aGK5LUFTK7jQkb_m42lJTf-NbndkhRglschdbbxB2zvtiOJ6yLTR-EwG8t-dcZJs5ldiQwo4J8-vT6UYqxz1dWr4XkIjKB-r6R0PTeAQQ88Egu0pb8DsuQaS72E/s1600/lake+district+10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9lDrctSjL6gBTzwc7aGK5LUFTK7jQkb_m42lJTf-NbndkhRglschdbbxB2zvtiOJ6yLTR-EwG8t-dcZJs5ldiQwo4J8-vT6UYqxz1dWr4XkIjKB-r6R0PTeAQQ88Egu0pb8DsuQaS72E/s1600/lake+district+10.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">we took two boats. and here is our attempt to bring the boats side by side, so that we can take pictures of one another. we almost crash . sumpah bukan aku yg bawak time tu :P</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixcAe_2zqi7CDnzkfFs-WnV-e35z-Vd0D88LB15foEYZ-FNfFoYowIAMG80Bvx5H_HGGW1g8QafuQIk0sx4oLUeI4w87qXsmnnQjkgzeuafG8JhZVNy-MLM5afmYcemkFMcjT_1B8h6QQ/s1600/lake+district+11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixcAe_2zqi7CDnzkfFs-WnV-e35z-Vd0D88LB15foEYZ-FNfFoYowIAMG80Bvx5H_HGGW1g8QafuQIk0sx4oLUeI4w87qXsmnnQjkgzeuafG8JhZVNy-MLM5afmYcemkFMcjT_1B8h6QQ/s1600/lake+district+11.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">acah-acah vacation atas bot mewah sendiri punya :p</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYZ09pMVOwVQjDfH7KTf0o5D5-0WrQb_96lxx3m-ad8EHhmlNcIhTCrruUzq75UdkVuGBQlJUrcSrGmgwkNR_5NA5FMFZKfbxOrVsGH1SwlSSONs2sGT3h7YbkGgdQgypNg_f5A1Sv23Q/s1600/lake+district+12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYZ09pMVOwVQjDfH7KTf0o5D5-0WrQb_96lxx3m-ad8EHhmlNcIhTCrruUzq75UdkVuGBQlJUrcSrGmgwkNR_5NA5FMFZKfbxOrVsGH1SwlSSONs2sGT3h7YbkGgdQgypNg_f5A1Sv23Q/s1600/lake+district+12.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">akhirul kalam, ouh how adorable these sheeps are, i just wanna bring one home. shhh<br />
so fluffy i wanna cry !</td></tr>
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<span style="color: magenta;">Amazing place, foods and above all amazing people to begin with.</span><br />
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endless blessings.<br />
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fabiayyia laa irabbikuma tukazziban</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-65215033722659138582014-03-03T12:43:00.002-08:002014-03-03T13:40:16.552-08:00daily rant.<div align="center">
Hello people.</div>
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Assalamualaikum.</div>
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i just find how difficult it is to actually keep up with blogging and keeps things updated. There's so many things to do that-being an expresser (on words most often), i just have to let it out. hence, all those fb status-es or the istagram-ings. I'm learning quite a few things these days but agreeably not conquering any-fully yet though. For those who might have known me for years, i'm clumsy and disorganised. i'm spontaneous and i dont plan things. even if i do, it's quite unlikely for me to stick to it. i'd certainly drive you people crazy if you are just so freakin organised and systematic. i find excitation and adventure behind randomness and unplanned things while you'll probably find no sensibility in doing so. but i can be putting lots of effort too to the things that i really love. </div>
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I generally am soft-spoken (and i don't mean being feminine). I can't bring myself to scolding people or staying mad at one person for too long (not that they usually realised). I get so mad at people that i'd eventually cry. You know, when i was in the student council in ky, we have the student orientation week where we're supposed to look stern and unapproachable/scary/intimidating. i was really struggling to even restrain myself from smiling, let alone make a harsh order when they asked for signatures. </div>
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I ate a lot. </div>
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I'm the kinda people who'd woke up early just to have breakfast. it's an inspiration to kick start the day. Good, proper breakfast.</div>
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I don't like exercising, but i'd certainly enjoy walking. I went to the park wearing a skirt, have a book in my hand ( not read, most often) while listening to some easy listening songs ( usually instrumental).</div>
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i deny having a thing for pink and all. but my most of my possesions are. I love flowers so much, i'd go the market/ Hutchinson once in a while and secretly hoping for fresh cheap flowers. i have this so called baking addiction now that i just have to bake at least once a month. Voluntered to teach a few children because it can put my mind at rest with the wonders that you'll find while interacting with these innocent souls.</div>
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I never rushed except when i had too. i'll go to school just a little bit earlier so that i can walk slowly and enjoy the sunrise while i walked pass the field.</div>
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of all the things that i once have been, and always be up till now-with some things changed here and there ; it always bring my mind to certain people (well you know who you are) and crave for their presence by my side now.</div>
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so next time i do things i do, they'll understand like no others.</div>
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so next time i screw up and makes mistake, they'll say it's okay and motivates me instead of condemning. </div>
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so next time i find joy in what i do-most random and crazy things, they are the first to actually join me and have a good time and brave enough to put aside the fear in uncertainties.</div>
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so next time i do anything, they know i'm just being me.</div>
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***<br />
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For once, after i experience this <span style="background-color: white; color: #c27ba0;">one thing</span> before, i just have different outlook to almost everything. Maybe, just maybe.. my priorities have changed. it's no longer to become the best throughout the year, but to actually make the best of every single day. becoming more appreciative of my nature and recognising them for room of improvement, accomplishment as what the society may define and how i used to as well before, may no longer be rooted in my mind any longer. it's still important but there are so many things i failed to notice before- too busy focusing on that one thing.</div>
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Sometimes, i'm afraid if i'm actually losing myself and just start giving excuses to working less hard( in academic for example), by paying more attention to things that actually makes me feels happy. trying to remind myself that education itself is basically life experience, and sitting in classroom is only small part of it. </div>
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and so this daily rant of mine, i'll get back and throw some more on you guys when we meet <span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="color: black;">insyaAllah!</span> </span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">True love is an acceptance of all that is,has been, will be and will not be.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;"></span> </div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">xxx</span></div>
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family rindu. kawan pun rindu.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">8.30 pm, Robinson Library</span></div>
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bertemankan nota Microbiology dan secawan Cappucino.</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-3812617005532570942014-01-16T10:18:00.000-08:002014-01-16T10:18:04.280-08:00Bumi Andalusia<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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Winter 2013</div>
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We went to Spain. It's our first time travelling so far away. We took a flight from Newcastle to Malaga, somewhere in the south of Spain. </div>
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From there, we ventured to the next city. </div>
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Malaga- Seville - Cordoba - Granada - Barcelona</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-33571146395961601312013-12-02T17:15:00.003-08:002013-12-02T17:26:24.916-08:00midnight cup of coffee.<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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Pejam celik dah hampir tiga bulan berada di bumi Inggeris.</div>
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I couldn't sum up neither my feelings nor my thoughts, just yet. It's true what people used to tell me. Living away, independently from your parents will bring a great change in your life. Being the eldest children in my family, i would like to consider myself at least presumably well prepared to what lies ahead. knowing or perhaps, expecting most of the things i'm gonna face. but tell you what, I'm wrong. </div>
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1) cooking.<br />
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...which perhaps is the simplest thing that you might enjoy doing. </div>
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Back home, i would have helped along in the kitchen and maybe, prepare some other dish with full step-by step guidance from my mum. you know, those moment when you are pretty meticulous about anything like how many garlic do you 'exactly' put in, or how much water 'exactly' should you pour into the pot, or is it well cooked already. Those questions where you won't take vague answers like 'agak-agaklah' as satisfying.<br />
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But now, you just have to do it all by yourself. and there's other things that you need to consider. Take for example, when I need to cook for the whole house, i must really take into account, what are my housemates' preferences. I may like spicy food-which others may not able to tolerate, some like more sugars in their food or don't like having certain veggies in a dish. all those things.<br />
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and even the way you handle it after you cook. Cleaning all the mess you've caused. i have a habit of taking turn with my brothers, where i basically cook and they'll wash and tidy up for me.So, I kinda have to train myself and be self-cautious about making sure that everything's the way it should be. and i am now still trying to make sure that i cause no trouble to another person. *and i'm sorry if i did. but i'll work hard on this area. coz sometimes I easily become forgetful.</div>
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2) Buying groceries<br />
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this. i find quite challenging as well. In terms of finding halal food, it was surprisingly easy. alhamdulillah.</div>
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I salute my abah for being able to cater the seven of us. providing enough food on the table and comfortable life to begin with. when you have to actually do this yourself, you'll see how much it'll cost you each month and how it makes you try your best on cutting down the budget and plan wisely.... (no wonder on such complaints on rising food cost ) .<br />
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I actually started comparing prices of goods in different stores now. and we actually shop from different stores at one time, like having one specific shop to get chickens and ketchup just because the price is comparatively lower there than any other stores. never mind the walks and the sweats. and oh of course, the pain you have to endure walking with the <span style="font-size: large;">huge </span>groceries bags. hm</div>
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3) Utility<br />
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There's never been a time where I can think of myself actually dealing with the bills and having to take note of the monthly usage of electrics or gas. Our house use the top up system, in which we have to go to the nearest paypoint to top up if we ran out of gas or electric. and the tricky things with this is that, you'll easily loose tract of the utility status of your house especially when you are busy with school and everything. <br />
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you may check it one day and thought it'll last till the next two days and finally forget to top up until then. what happen was, the meter goes down to -ve and your house alarm will not stop beeping. it makes such annoying sound that you get afraid that it might have alerted the neighbours and somehow cause unnecessary dramas- at least, that's what i imagined. well, it happened twice already. So, i have a specific alarm/reminder on this matter in my phone now.</div>
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these are just a few little things that makes you wonder of how much effort have your parents put in raising their children. It should make us <span style="font-size: large;">appreciate </span>and be<span style="font-size: large;"> thankful </span>of our parents' sacrifices.<br />
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<span style="color: #a64d79;">The more we experience this day by day, and thought of how hard it is... the more we should be amazed of our parents who did a whole lot more than this-except with a smile on their face!</span></div>
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hirup coffee.</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-64384413640189075792013-11-25T01:17:00.000-08:002015-07-19T17:07:50.349-07:00misi budak biomed<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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al kisahnya begini, i have a scientific essay to write and submit this wednesday and i've got a lot more to do. since i'm very much confused with the 'Harvard' reference system and all. i need to find some books and good journals as a source to my writing. i spend a whole lot of time looking for materials from a website to another. and end up having number of tabs in my browser. up to the point i dont know which is which. i need to take the information and put it in my own word, but what if changing the phrasing from one website will make it similar to another. will i be considered plagiarising? oh man!</div>
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so people, i'm going to the 24/7 library and spend my whole sleepless night there today. wish me luck! </div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-53888270866887643262013-11-10T02:04:00.002-08:002013-11-10T02:04:27.975-08:00Notts Game 2013<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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it's Sunday.</div>
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i'm planning to make some cookies today. tengoklah rajin ke tak.</div>
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anyway, yesterday i went to Nottingham Malaysian Games. sumpah, KY people everywhere -.-"</div>
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you keep seeing familiar faces as you were walking. you gets random hugs and took lots of pictures. Nottingham is beautiful. all those trees, and the wide spread green field... subhanallah. the fact that we are at the end of autumn compliments the scenery well. </div>
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feeling2 mohabattein. ceh.</div>
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k. serius. i met with those people i miss soooooo much. <strike>geng surau</strike> geng sama2 tolong dlm jatuh bangkit aku dalam study or dlm em, overall lah - tolong ingatkan yang mana baik yang mana buruk. </div>
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those people.bila jumpa chaletmate dulu, allah, meme ah.cakap x henti.semua bnda nak cerita!</div>
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rasa bahagia sangat tengok dorang. To be honest. i was a bit scared to go to this gathering. afraid that i might recall those moment and feel sad somehow. Astaghfirullah. a normal person i am. jugling between the thought in my mind and the acceptance, gratefulness that i hold tight in my heart. afraid that i might stutter again if people ask me. afraid of the questions really.</div>
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but alhamdulillah. never felt better. seeing those people who remind you more of how to be YOU.</div>
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i enjoyed every single second when i was with them and looking forward to seeing them again in the future.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIL4ZgnuxcSOsaS-puzoab40gOwEbexawAOyOrwx0Ju5d8Ij7M_iYh1VHoIawzrz6zEn9Fai9HwsHowroMhj2YXFWaiXArP6RPZEld33mG6kk6JICbfkxCbtILNJfTlJsvQA563FnR_Qo/s1600/1451514_624588850912932_1099792316_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIL4ZgnuxcSOsaS-puzoab40gOwEbexawAOyOrwx0Ju5d8Ij7M_iYh1VHoIawzrz6zEn9Fai9HwsHowroMhj2YXFWaiXArP6RPZEld33mG6kk6JICbfkxCbtILNJfTlJsvQA563FnR_Qo/s400/1451514_624588850912932_1099792316_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">sumpah cantik notts. see the trees?</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheEmrO7f0ngZVXBhUimzHwcb4PdfN00NqGnZeOb2RBT-fRDAy7pp6C0jwex0s5NlJzSqf2seaJj3IbiATzhlixEl3ckW9FB7GEmgJzUrOW3acUK7xWdk7A55ij6DGZ6k8vEAYnoMWqPHY/s1600/1461244_624581930913624_1318345041_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheEmrO7f0ngZVXBhUimzHwcb4PdfN00NqGnZeOb2RBT-fRDAy7pp6C0jwex0s5NlJzSqf2seaJj3IbiATzhlixEl3ckW9FB7GEmgJzUrOW3acUK7xWdk7A55ij6DGZ6k8vEAYnoMWqPHY/s400/1461244_624581930913624_1318345041_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">okay fine. i dont know how to belit that thingy.nampak suffocated disitu.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgJtwOmYeUqWbliRXG5z0xiwkp3kxnEyCDwM_j7hqwFvR57m0jHC4YlnNHkzeSm5Mj8ZornToU2_gud46Vms5qyGPS5m864BAxfQavdXp_uZE6WKndBDYXOV1sZqbAIlQ36bitZym-xs/s1600/1465161_624588347579649_683647286_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgJtwOmYeUqWbliRXG5z0xiwkp3kxnEyCDwM_j7hqwFvR57m0jHC4YlnNHkzeSm5Mj8ZornToU2_gud46Vms5qyGPS5m864BAxfQavdXp_uZE6WKndBDYXOV1sZqbAIlQ36bitZym-xs/s400/1465161_624588347579649_683647286_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGujeZQvuLg7IZqQtjLBJ9sPlbWD9-ZMzz-COFLuCqvZ2MhdXz66vwHRjTA6y1JCWYjYd0YqKSmt3ml6XdQ0KWDJmYbBlB4hzDfMq_WCLIM9CCbFnG9NV9etGpARVByk4SUIyBMYX_zew/s1600/1461448_624589017579582_1549387896_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGujeZQvuLg7IZqQtjLBJ9sPlbWD9-ZMzz-COFLuCqvZ2MhdXz66vwHRjTA6y1JCWYjYd0YqKSmt3ml6XdQ0KWDJmYbBlB4hzDfMq_WCLIM9CCbFnG9NV9etGpARVByk4SUIyBMYX_zew/s400/1461448_624589017579582_1549387896_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">x sangka kitaorg selfie</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkSbuxC6TI__Dqpzeroo_FngXdwC3eBfsD7qByGmvqtynGVAlkliAf1PeEICGojpPExakzJpurfSEAcEhOhfpKsGpaSn3IWNTSCcfblPcGDoWtEx4oH8kcoa6utn1pwbcjKRJLaOCVM14/s1600/love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkSbuxC6TI__Dqpzeroo_FngXdwC3eBfsD7qByGmvqtynGVAlkliAf1PeEICGojpPExakzJpurfSEAcEhOhfpKsGpaSn3IWNTSCcfblPcGDoWtEx4oH8kcoa6utn1pwbcjKRJLaOCVM14/s400/love.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
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*smile*</div>
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p/s : rindu geng ireland though</div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4985165643309693332.post-56048556696707335172013-11-06T23:50:00.001-08:002013-11-06T23:52:21.707-08:00what did i do?<div style="text-align: center;">
Bismillah</div>
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it has been a while, isn't it? Life has been good so far. </div>
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alhamdulillah. lantunan syukur kepada Tuhan yang masih memberi peluang untuk ku terus bernafas dan memohon keampunan atas dosa2 yang lalu. atas kelalaian dan kealpaan saat iman rapuh dan atas konsep 'ehsan' yang tiba-tiba seolah2 tidak pernah aku tahu. enak berbuat dosa dengan hadirnya malaikat mencatit segala hal meski sekecil2 biji sawi. Allahu!</div>
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mata yang tak terjaga. hati yang tak terlindung. mulut yang tak berlapik. </div>
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astaghfirullah. astaghfirullah.astagfirullah.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Daripada Ibn Abbas R.A, Rasulullah S.A.W telah bersabda : Dua nikmat yang sering dirugikan oleh manusia adalah nikmat sihat dan masa lapang.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">'apabila kita tidak disibukkan dengan kebaikan, nescaya kita akan disibukkan dengan kebatilan'</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Hence, i try my best to fill my time with something that give value to my time *other than studying.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">i volunteer as a teacher, helping the post graduates' children to understand Islam, Fardhu Ain and apparently, Bahasa Melayu. It was one of the thing that i most probably enjoy the most. to be surrounded by these innocent minds and bombarded with question i find interesting and brought me thinking many times. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">i'm treating this as an escapism from the worldly matters and student obligations faced every other day. It's the kind of thing you do to feel a little bit 'human' inside. I went to help for Charity week organised by ISOC. it is one of the joyous moment i had too considering how many great friend i encountered, lovely sisters that greets you with much warmth and home-y hugs. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">I've got a lot of free time that i delved into another passion of mine which is baking. this is one of thing that put a smile on my face. what i love most is really, to pack those cakes/cookies or anything and give it to another person. it gives me pleasures. Even Rasullullah p.b.u.h said that giving gift to each other can strengthen the love you had for each other (mantaining silaturrahim).</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWQvzIv9JehhvIyWpvQCAAYfKcIGYZuM84Dt0qYcfPBHtp4QYjkdAnUDiy_lcpHaQERUw5Ghn1QA-DQECwdLX8yv7_nwbySCmag1DKG_D30_R0qZ1jHF64nc7zql9-bpedJtFimB3YIR4/s1600/children.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWQvzIv9JehhvIyWpvQCAAYfKcIGYZuM84Dt0qYcfPBHtp4QYjkdAnUDiy_lcpHaQERUw5Ghn1QA-DQECwdLX8yv7_nwbySCmag1DKG_D30_R0qZ1jHF64nc7zql9-bpedJtFimB3YIR4/s320/children.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">children and food, just the two thing i love the most. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">*smile*</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 18px;">xoxo</span></span></div>
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Miss Amni Syazwanihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02616276957984543770noreply@blogger.com0